Continued..........

The second way states things in a way a child will understand and how adoption was presented has a loving and positive view to it. So, think about what you will say, what your child will hear and feel. A little information in the beginning is better, than telling the entire story along with all the details. A little information is a lot for a child to process when learning they are adopted. As they become more comfortable with adoption, maybe waiting until they bring it up and then telling them a little more.

Older teens or even adults that do not know that they are adopted should be told immediately they are adopted. This may be very hard because so much time has past without the truth being told but one must find the courage to do this. Everyone deserves to know the truth about their past and beginning in life.

The thing to remember when telling a child that they are adopted is making them feel loved and wanted by you. Also, how you talk about their birth mother and what you say about her sets the foundation of how one views being adopted and views themselves. When one hears someone says something negative about their birth mother, it is just like someone saying something negative about you. One might think if something bad was wrong with my birth mother, then something is wrong with me and that is why I was adopted. This can have a lasting impact on an adoptee. Yes, there are birth mothers that have made it difficult (seen more in foster to adopt cases) to say positive things about them. As adoptive parents (me included in this) we owe it to our children to find something positive about the birth mother and the situation to tell our children for either sake.


Adoptee’s view of being adopted, click here to read from adoption.com.

Adoptee learning as an adult that she was adopted, click here to read from adoption.com.