“With life, you do not know what you will get.”

While there is truth to the statement(s) about adoption and even about parenting biological children, the fact remains that even if we have the best laid plans and are uber-prepared for every possible outcome we can think of, something ELSE will happen.

It should be:
“With parenting, you do not know what you will get.”

Parenting is parenting and we all get plenty of surprises and face a steep learning curve whether we conceived and carried the child ourselves or adopted it.

that I agree with this statement.

ok, so I agree with a lot of what you said.

sigh

My birthson and I are more alike then he and his afamily. It was a closed adoption for the “baby is a blank slate” era. Even I didn’t expect him to be anything like me.

That of course doesn’t mean he doesn’t do or act in ways like his aparents. Nuture is important and we all get some of who we are from that.

But his food likes, his personality, the way he walks and talks. Those things are like his birth family. Things he got from the DNA of his bmom and bdad.

So yes there are guarantees when raising a child you gave birth too.

Saying there isn’t, “seems” like just another way of saying who gave birth doesn’t count. A way to cut the birth family out even more.

I would never, ever, say that loving and raising a child doesn’t leave a last imprint on the child. I would never say that wasn’t very important.

this is just my opinion of course.