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There is good and bad in everything in life. When an adoptive parent turns out to not be a great or even a bad parent or an adoption has negative outcomes it seems to lead many people’s thoughts and opinions to adoption is negative in general. Some people believe that there are only a selected few adoptees that feel positive towards adoption. That is not necessarily the case.
Granted there are some not so great and even terrible adoptive parents but also there are a huge number of biological parents that also have major problems. The huge differences are that we do not call for doing away with parenting but adoptive parenting is fair game. There is not anything in this world that is perfect and without fault. It does not mean we are running around fighting against it.
There is not an answer to why some children and adopted children get great parents while others do not. Some call it chance, luck of the draw while others claim destiny. Maybe it is all of them or none of them. I do not know why I ended up with great adoptive parents while other adoptees did not. I wish other adoptees that ended up with the not so great adoptive parents could have experienced my life as adoptee, but that is not how things work.
Every child whether birth or adopted deserves to feel loved, cherished, and wanted. I know that in the past, some adoptive parents choose to adopt because of how it would make them appear. To some adopted children they were just decorations to adoptive parents. I do not think this is something that happens as it once did. I believe for the most part adoptive parents are building their families this way through love and not just to be a parent to a child because something is lacking in their lives.
I have been asked this question throughout my life and also from a reader. I do not know how to rationalize how I ended up with great adoptive parents.
More reading:
We each have our own path to walk.
Amen!!
I think there is still a misbelief that all biological parents will be loving and that people who are not related by blood will not be. The misbelief persists even though the foster care system is filled mostly with children who were harmed or neglected by biological family.
You were adopted into a loving home. I was raised in an abusive biological home. Like Lisa said, we all have our paths to walk. I don’t know why your childhood was so different from mine, nor do I believe you have any reason to “rationalize” it any more than I do. You did nothing “good enough” to get the good home, and I did nothing “bad enough” to get the bad home. What matters is the choices that you and I have both made to embrace our lives despite how they started out.
Good post!!
- Faith
I’d answer the question, “Why did you end up in a good adoptive home?” by asking … why not?
As with Lisa and Faith, that path thing resonates here, too.
I’m one of seven adopted by great parents. I love my family. I know someone else carried me, but I know that God created me to be my mom’s daughter (my adopted mom’s). Here’s a link where I pay tribute to my momma:
http://blogs.knoxnews.com/knx/southern/2006/05/post.html