The journey and experiences we go through in life all have meaning. All of things have an impact on the person we become. Even the challenges, losses, and heartbreaks of life teach us lessons.

While I do understand and agree that adoption does have an impact on our life experiences and the person we become, but it should not be only about that. While some adoptees talk about searching for who they are, the truth is this person already exists. Yes, there are pieces of our lives that are missing but does that change your existence?

We all, including people not adopted, go through different points in life searching for who we are or at some point in life we lose sight of ourselves. It is just that, we lose sight of ourselves but we do not stop being the person we are or existing.

The person we are is already there. It started with our birth parents and continued with our adoptive parents. Each person added to the person we are. Our birth parents give us our beginning to life, a future through adoption, and love that continues our entire lives. Our adoptive parents give us a childhood along with knowledge and life experiences. The greatest things they give us are love and support.

While there are things about our past that we long to know in order to feel complete as well as things we learn about ourselves every day, it does not change who we are. These missing things are just pieces of a puzzle not the entire puzzle. The image of the puzzle is still there even with the few missing pieces.

When adoptees are facing hard or shocking facts of their beginning, it does not change who they are. I learned that my birth father was, or I guess, is a predator. This does not change who I am. I am still the same wife, daughter, sister and mother that I was before learning this.

More reading:

Is There Room for Both?

Changing The Adoptee’s Name When Adopting