Comments on: Unethical Adoption

By: ljstauffer

ljstauffer — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:03:43 +0000

REFORMS=Restoring adoptees rights to their obc and truthful adoption records!

To be denied our heritage is wrong, to be denied because the many abuses of the adoption laws may be unearthed, is wrong, Sealed records can mean a death sentence to an adoptee with no access to accurate, TRUTHFUL family medical history

How are we to know were we are going if we have no idea were we have been?

Why are these simple explanations, only a few I can think of right now, so hard to accept by those who can only complain about how ungrateful some adoptees are to be insulted, and have our feelings discounted by your words.

Read the sorted history of Adoption in the US as it was in the 1920-1970's and afterwards if you still believe we don't need real reforms and a more educated public or that in asking for the TRUTH to be told is anti-adoption at least you have a clearer picture as to why so many adoptees feel as I do.

The true story of Georgia Tann

http://www.babythief.com/

By: Chromesthesia

Chromesthesia — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 02:46:31 +0000

Sensible.
We need reforms. REFORMS.
But I wonder what the Anti-adoption people purpose as an alternative.
Orphanages?
Guardianship?
Adoption is here to stay, it is a needed thing in the world, but, we do have to make sure it's honest, ethical and that the kids come first.
That is the problem with the current system, (Especially foster)
Not enough emphasis on the kids.

By: Jenna Hatfield

Jenna Hatfield — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 18:34:08 +0000

(Or, I should have said, some sue. Some, like our family, aren’t big on the lawsuit hub-bub. But, again, I had no option for a lawsuit in our unethical adoption. Okay. I hope that explained enough. Brain is working on sludge speed today.)

By: Jenna Hatfield

Jenna Hatfield — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 18:32:29 +0000

When a doctor practices unethically, you sue. You can’t do that in adoption all that often, especially not as a first parent. And so you fight for change so that others may not experience the same thing that you endured.

By: jpdakota43

jpdakota43 — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 13:16:46 +0000

This post as in my post, not the blog itself.

By: miriam

miriam — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 05:37:19 +0000

It's nice to hear your thoughts as always. I appreciate them even more as any thoughts from me would be blown away more than in any field of discussion I've encountere- even politics!- as presumptuous and insignificant since I'm not part of a triad yet. Once I do adopt I'd be dismissed because I'm on the wrong side of the triad, meaning I've bought the dark agenda and must have perverse ulterior motives or be very stupid. So reading here some things I've thought myself, and from a highly intelligent, thoughtful and openminded writer who happens to be very personally involved in several ways is encouraging.

ps. I've never heard of them removing a post here. Comments, yes, but I haven't seen even some of the more inflammatory posts go down. It seems to me many perspectives are given room to voice opinions.

By: jpdakota43

jpdakota43 — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 03:22:43 +0000

Yeah – revisionist history and selective retention are rife in the adoption community. I admire your courage. Here’s the deal, though. You can’t win this battle here. Making salient points using accepted logical forms doesn’t get it done. Rational approaches won’t work. All the political correctness ever invented isn’t respectful enough to the woefully wronged. And I hazard to guess that it won’t be long before you are “coached” to use a different approach. This is not the home of the moderate. And since this post will no doubt be removed, I’m fairly comfortable saying this just long enough for a couple of reasonable people to read….
Good for you, Abby. Hang in there.

By: Deb Donatti

Deb Donatti — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 01:38:37 +0000

MamaS, I agree. For some people laying the blame for regretful decisions elsewhere, is so much easier that owning their own responsibility in the matter. It is a coping method, although not a very effective one. IMO the anti-adoption crowd swears by it though.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 00:05:48 +0000

Abby,
Your blog yesterday and today were right on the mark in my opinion.
Lisa

By: MamaS

MamaS — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 23:28:20 +0000

Abby: Just let it roll over you. There are some people who are truly victims of unethical practices and many people who truly believe they are victims. My daughter is one of those. She will tell you that she lost her son only because she did not own a car! She has made herself believe that.
In fact, she was given support from the family. She was given a house, all expenses paid, and spending money for a year. (She did not have a driver’s license – having lost it due to poor driving record.) During that year she drank and did drugs and neglected her son. When the courts finally removed him she was given this assignment: TO GET YOUR SON BACK: 1. Attend parenting classes. 2. Attend AA or NA meetings. 3. Get a job. 4. Open a bank account and deposit your paychecks in it. She had six months to do this. She didn’t. He gave her 12 more months. Nothing. Then he gave her 12 more months. Not one thing was accomplished. So, her son was TPR’d and adopted by a family member who was fostering.
Her attitude is still: If someone had just given her a car, she could have gotten a job and attended meetings.
(Never mind that in that two year time period she went to jail 3 times for driving without a license! In her world, SHE IS A VICTIM!)