[Continued from HERE.]

Just as I was getting on a role with this series, my electricity was sketchy and internet nearly nil for the past few days, and so … very sorry about the delay. In case you have forgotten where we were, this blog had the statistics comparing the mental health/adjustment/behavior of adoptees to the same for non-adoptees, while the blog before the one you are reading now had some random ‘findings’ from the multitude of studies I researched.

Now let’s get back to work. As we move into analysis land, I think it is important to clarify that I am trying to find out where the ‘majorities’ lie in all of this. Of course there are always individual exceptions … probably even enough of these to form a sizable group … but it is in the larger patterns that we often get our bearings. Think "celestial navigation," for example.

At the core of this exercise, that is my goal: to try to make some sense of the information, speculation and oh-so-much ‘whatever’ about how, generally, adoption itself impacts adoptees with a bit of ‘why’ and ‘how much’ thrown in for good measure.

With the conclusions of the various studies fresh in my mind, I thought it the perfect time to take a look again at the list of "problems" that are alleged to be unique to adoptees. Here it is:

PROBLEMS
1. Connecting to others being harder to do for adoptees;
2. More sensitivity to loss;
3. Difficulty trusting;
4. Feelings of betrayal;
5. Identity issues.

According to my research, generally, none of the above are any more serious and/or likely for adoptees than for non-adoptees. That doesn’t mean adoptees don’t experience these problems and that for those that do have them, there is no connection to the fact that they were adopted. It just means adoptees are no more or less likely to have one or many of these issues than anyone else.

The only area that I saw a bit of merit (both in research and personal experience) for a special "heads-up" would be for adoptees in adolescence. Most of the studies comparing adolescents did find slightly higher levels of "rebellious" behavior like drinking/smoking/etc and anger/angst in the process of creating a personal identity in adoptees than non-adoptees. It was also always noted that these higher levels were still in the range of what is considered to be "normal." These were the same studies that often found adoptees to be more social and independent than their non-adoptive counterparts.

Put it all together in normal ol' terms and it all makes sense ... and might, in the brain chatter of an average teen, sound a bit like this:

"I like people and want to be liked for who I am... except that I have no idea who that is. While I figure that out, I want to be cool, as then people will definitely like me. Cool people stand out from the crowd and buck the system. They don't listen to authority... they ARE authority, at least in our high school world. So that's what I'll be: cool... pass me a smoke, open me a beer and find me a boyfriend/girlfriend that is SURE to annoy my parents..."

Sounds like a John Waters movie to me.

It is a tricky time for anyone, to be sure, but since the biggest challenge of the age is to start the process of creating an identity, then it only stands to reason that the roller coaster ride of the teen years might just have some higher highs and lower lows for adoptees, with our unanswered questions and heaps of conjecture. I definitely don’t believe that there is enough of a difference between adoptees and non-adoptees on this point to merit extra worry or create paranoia in adoptive parents. It might, however, just be a bit of advance notice to stock-up on extra patience and supportive tendencies during an adoptee's teen years ... then let the good times roll, just keep in mind that the rolling may rock. And so be it.


[Continued… Next blog… the rest of the PROBLEM analysis bit.]