With adoption, there is a line in the sand that tends to be ignored by all. It involves us all whether we want to accept it or not. As an adoptee, I use to think that if you stayed out of the adoption scene, you could not be on one side or the other side. I think this also is placing you on a side.

Every side has so many different issues and thoughts. Generalized statements can bring people’s blood to the boiling point. Can we all ever get pass all of the division? There is so much talk about the children, but then it tends to be more about us, I, or we.

As an adoptee to hear people make the general statement that adoptions are unneeded and implied that adoptions are wrong makes me incredibly sad and angry. I believe that every person breathing has the full right to decide if adoption is right or wrong for herself. As a happy adoptee, I cannot even begin to describe how this statement makes me feel.

What gives another person the right to state that adoption, the very thing that an adoptee’s existence is built on is wrong? Just because some people had a bad experience or regretted their decision concerning adoption does not give them the knowledge or right to decide what is best for all.

What is sad is the most adoptive parents believe in adoption, sees the good that can come from adoption and a lot of birth mothers who tend to be opposed to adoption seem only to see the negative. Where do the adoptees fit in to this? That I find truly amazing is for the most part, adoptees (there are a few adoptees that do not feel this way) are content, at peace with adoption and it is a part of them. I run onto and come in contact with more adoptees that have gone on to adopt children of their own.

I have come to the sad realization that if an adoptee is content with being adopted, then chances are that some birth mother take this personally. Other adoptees have felt this and I have also.

It is very strange that people want to place other people in a box, because they do not share the thoughts and beliefs they do. We all have a vested interest in adoption, which makes it intensely personal for each of us. Each person involved in adoption offers so much to the children of adoption that we all love so much.

Adoption cannot exist, without the need for children needing loving parents and homes. Without adoption do we go back to placing children in orphanages, because the thought is easier for people to deal with or ease their pain?


Overcoming Barriers to the Adoption of Children from Foster Care