Continued.......

Is there anything else I could be doing to keep the lines of communication open? I want him to always be able to talk to me about his feelings, no matter the topic and no matter what those feelings are.

I believe the key is to being open about adoption. The more casual and normal you can be when talking about adoption or birth families, would make it easier. That may sound kind of strange but think about when we have “serious talks” , you have a different attitude, feelings and mind set. I am not saying there will not be serious talks about their adoption, at times there will be. I think to open the lines of communication, is keep it casual and you may find that you or your child will say things that can open the door for everyone to feel comfortable with talking openly about adoption and their feelings about it. The most important thing for an adopted child is to feel that no matter their choices are that they make as children or adults, that they will always have your love as a parent.

How you as an adoptive parent handle and feel about adoption is also important to your child. Adoption it’s self can be easy for an adoptive parent to talk about with your child but when you get into the details of their past, it can become more difficult (this more so with adopting from foster care). I know when the time comes when two of my children start to ask detailed questions about their past, I will be struggling at this point with having a positive attitude because of the facts. As adoptive parents we may not do all right things along our journey in parenting but the most important thing is loving our children with all of our hearts.

Some children may feel more comfortable talking about adoption than others and they were raised the same way. Every child has a different personality, thoughts, feelings about being adopted and comfort levels. Take the clue from the adopted child on how to proceed with talking about being adopted or birth families. Remember each child has different needs, one may need to talk and another may be content with the information you have told them.

Mo is the Korea Adoption blogger here at adoption.com and he has a posting that discusses how his adoptive mother talked to him about his adoption as a child. It was done so easy and casual for a child to feel they could talk openly, if they wanted to. Click here to read the posting.