Continued......

She was upset because I had not shared that I was adopted. I explained that being adopted for me was just a small part of who I am and that for me it does not have a daily impact on my life. We talked about the differences we each shared about adoption. She was curious about how I found peace and dealt with it. I do not know how it came about for me. I believe that she got struck in the thoughts of what could have been if she was not adopted and that had taken over her life. There are phases, feelings and thoughts that you have when dealing with being adopted, which they are all natural. The problem arises when we cannot move beyond a phases, feelings or thoughts about being adopted. I think finding your way and dealing with being adopted is something that will be different for every adoptee. I think it is something that happens on an individual basis for adoptees.

We all like our privacy to different degrees and all have things we feel are personal (some call it secretive) maybe you are a birth mother, had an unplanned pregnancy, you are adopted, been married before and etc. Just because we all do not share details of our lives does not mean that we have issues with being adopted. Maybe it is just the opposite; we do not talk about it because to us it is not really that big of a deal to us.

When we started our adoption process and started foster care, in the classes everyone was very interested in asking me questions about being adopted. It did not bother me the least, to talk about being adopted. As adoptive and foster parents they had a lot of questions about dealing with a child being and knowing they are adopted.