e-mail
Adoption is anything but sunshine and lollipops, which I do understand as an adoptee and an adoptive parent. The truth is that adoption reform is needed. I totally understand this and am not against it. Changes in adoption law are needed and I support it when it is a benefit to adoption. 
Knowledge is what people need concerning adoption reform. I am not trying to persuade anyone one way or the other. We as people need to decide to get involved with reform or a movement. We need to go in with their eyes wide open. We need to know the truth about things so we can make informed choices. Remember this is how I view things. I have received many e-mail and comments questioning my agenda.
There seems to be great confusion in where I personally stand on adoption or “my agenda”, what I support and believe.
I support the rights of adoptees and children waiting to be adopted. Without adoption there would no adoptees, so yes I support adoption. I do not believe adoption is right for every situation. The right of a parent to decide to place their child up for adoption should also be protected.
Adoption is a valuable part of this world. Adoption is not perfect nor will it probably ever be perfect, but we can improve it without doing away with it.
I am not pro-adoption choice of only adopting babies. I am a foster parent and have adopted three of my children from the foster care system. I support adoption as a whole. I do wish more people would look to adopt from the foster care system.
Family preservation and a movement for family preservation are two different things. The family preservation movement in my opinion is that is some cases the rights of the parents are put before the child’s. With some adoptions is not a viable option.
Family preservation itself, I support when it is in the best interest of the child. I am not against family preservation but I am against the movement of family preservation when adoption is ruled out. I have been part of this in foster care so it is something I personally have been involved with.
Agendas are a problem when people lie, hide or try to side step what their overall purpose is. There should be major concerns when someone or a group hides their true agendas. We are not being responsible if we do not research or “even care” about the true agendas for things we become involved in.
I will continue sharing information that could pose a threat to adoption and the people involved. I am not trying to persuade a mother to give up her child, nor people involved with adoption to think one particular way. We all have our own journey in adoption and we choose what course to take.
If only life and adoption could be sunshine and lollipops.
More to read on the issues:
There’s a lot I’d like to be sunshine and lollipops, Abby…..well put.
I agree 100% with your position and thanks for writing it out so clearly and forthrightly…it says a lot about you.
:0)
Tisha
I just want things to be better for children. Whether it’s adoption, reforming and helping their family, what ever is best for the children is what I’m supporting.
You’re so ritht, Abby. The posturing that says “family preservation” is exclusive territory … as if those who support adoption are in some way “anti” family … is just one more tactic used to divert attention from the real agenda being pushed that is “abolish adoption”.
The “look over there at the problems with adoption, while we dismantle the entire institution and toss it on the rubbish heap” is a ploy that can’t be allowed to work.
Pointing it out is a valuable step in the process of protecting adoption.
Well done.
Great Post!
It’s amazing to me that people are so adamant about doing away with adoption.
Bio parent have issues with their children….talking back, disrespect, lying, breaking rules, etc. It effects the harmony in your home, the stability of your marriage and the well-being of your children, too. Rarely do you hear people adovocate to just toss the offending child out and be done with the hassle.
We all have been disappointed with the American government at some point or another. We see things that need to change and a lack of effort to do so. It certainly affects us on an on-going basis through out our life. Rarely do you hear people advocate that America do away with democracy and institue, say, communism as our form of government.
We’re all born with physcial attributes (or lack thereof) that we are unhappy with and affect our self-esteem. Rarely do you hear people advocate suicide as a solution to wide hips or a tendency to gain weight.
Rather, we find ways (or try to find ways) to repair these things. We go to the core of the situation to see where we went wrong, what needs to be replaced and what needs tweaking to make it work better. And, our hope is, that in the end we have a stronger, more resiliant process.
So, too with adoption. Yes, there are problems….big ones. But to through out the baby with the bathwater is, well, throwing out a baby and that is wrong.
Well said!