The question of how to talk with your children about your adoption has been asked. Well, this is something every adoptee probably has their idea about how it should be done.

If your children are unaware of your adoption, then start with explaining adoption in general, then explain that you were adopted. My personal opinion is do not sit down one day and unleash your whole life adoptive story to your children. The whole idea of adoption may take them some time to process. This can also allow them time to think about how you being adopted affects them and gives them the opportunity to ask questions.

Even with my 13 year old daughter, I do not get into all of the difficult details and secrets surrounding my adoption and beginning in life. I always answer her questions truthfully. If she asks a question that I do not want to discuss or that I do not think she needs to know at this point in her life, I explain that we will talk about all the details when she gets older. At times, I explain that I am still working through some things and I am not ready to talk about them. She needs to know that I am no different than her and also need time to process things.

I do not know when or even if I will tell my children all the bad details of my past. My past has no bearing on them. So, I do not want them carrying my baggage along in their lives. This is my cross to bear so to speak not theirs. While some people may feel that I am trying to hide the facts of my life, in my mind, it has no bearing on my children.

My children know I am adopted and that I am comfortable talking about it so, if they have a question they can ask it. Prepare yourself; some questions will come out of the clear blue sky leaving your head spinning. If your children are just learning about your being adopted they are most likely going to need time to process it all. You may also need to bring it back up with them at a later date, since they may be unclear of why you have not shared this information before.

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More reading:

Talking About Searching for Your Birth Parents

Learning Difficult Information - Could it be Easier?

Learning Difficult Information From Adoptive Parents