I did not go hoping to change or rewrite the past just develop a relationship or contact from the past. Did I set boundaries that were too much for my birth mother to live with? Possibly, but I also have to live with my boundaries.

Things do not always work out the way we hope but things in this life have no guarantees. When we are faced with decisions in life that can have a major impact, we have to make what we feel is the best choice at the time. We do not have the foresight to know the outcome.

My relationship with my birth mother is one sided, I am the one to make the phone calls, send pictures and write. Even after my birth mother closed me out because I cannot be the daughter she wants, I still send pictures of my children and write her once a year to tell her what is going on in my life. Now, wait before anyone jumps on my limited contact let me explain a few things. First, a relationship can not be one sided. I have never received any photos from my birth mother (I do not know what my half sister even looks like), cards, notes, phone calls, or anything else.

There are adoptees out there that are content with being adopted, their adoptive parents and their life in general. Some adoptees do not feel the need to search for or reunite with their birth families. It should be their choice and others do not have a right to impose their ideas or beliefs onto other adoptees that choice a different path in their adoption journey.

Adoption is a very personal thing for every person involved. The feelings that some may feel could seem foreign to someone else. We will all have different feelings. There are no rights or wrongs concerning the feelings involved in adoption. Sorry, there is a right for everyone. Respect other adoptees, adoptive parents and birth mothers right to their own feelings and choices.

Related artilce at adoption.com:

An Adoptee Shares... Finding Me

A Happy Ending