Fear can be a major emotion during reunion that an adoptee can be faced with at every turn. The thought of searching can bring up all kinds of fears. You hear all those "what if" questions running through your head.

What if they do not want to see you? What if I am not what they hoped for? What if I never find them?

The thoughts of fear can keep adoptees from searching for their birth families. The fear of what an adoptee can find about their birth parents and themselves. The fear the door will be closed before it is ever opened can be very overwhelming for an adoptee.

The fear of being rejected can also be a major concern for an adoptee. The fear of your birth mother not understanding what you want out of a relationship. The fear of the union not being successful can be a major fear to overcome.

Adoptees are not the only ones that go into reunions with fears. The birth family probably shares some of the same fears that adoptees do.

Some adoptees during searching are forced to face their fears and may never get to have a reunion. This could happen when an adoptee finds that their birth parents have passed away or when they do not want contact with the adoptee.

Another fear that some adoptees face is not wanting to hurt their adoptive parents. The fear that they will not understand your need for a reunion. The fear that they will feel that you are rejecting them as parents. I think if adoptees would sit down and talk to their parents they would be surprised to learn that their parents support them in the journey to their birth families.

Fear should not keep us from searching for our birth families. Remember your birth family is dealing with their own fears with reunion.

Related posts:

Reunion: Happiness

Expectations with a Reunion