[Continued from HERE.]


p.p.p.s. Notes To My Fellow Adoptees


A long, long series, this has been: pages and pages of “Issues and Issues” leading to a bunch of well-intentioned, far too bossy post scripts. Finally, this is it, the caboose of the series, the p.s. to end all others, the last leg of the pot getting some bolstering and buffing, the one to my peers … the one they may not want to read.

Since there are not so many adoptees trawling the net who are not struggling in some way with having been adopted, this is mainly focused on those who are angry, that can’t accept who they are, that feel they don’t even know who they are because they don’t know where exactly and from which womb they emerged. It is to adoptees that were severely let down in their reunion efforts, that feel anger and/or disappointment and/or accusatory toward their birth mothers/fathers, that have been living the majority of their lives looking back. It is to still others that have adoption topics that have turned into such serious problems in their lives that they can not find peace, busy as they are looking for a certain piece that might not even look the way they think it does, a piece that may only complete their puzzle in theory.

To all of my fellow adoptees wrestling Sumo or Greco-Roman or any other style with issues you feel stem from having been adopted, take a deep breath, because you might not like what I am about to say. Or you might, but maybe not right now. Or maybe … hopefully … you have subconsciously been waiting for someone to say these things to you.

It is time to stop the self-torturous brain surfing, now. You are living YOUR life and the only one you are hurting or even impacting with the endless negativity and spinning around and around the same topic is YOU. Fact is, I don’t need to know you to know you deserve better than that. You do. There is no denying that changing a pattern like this in your life is really hard. It is also more than possible: it is necessary, otherwise there is a very good chance you will propagate the same emotions, the same patterns in your adult life, in your own children. Maybe you have already started passing on the negativity … maybe, just maybe, it is time to stop.


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