As hard as it is to believe there are happy adoptees. Understand it does not mean that these adoptees are living in denial, lying to themselves, or anything else. I have never said or implied that a happy adoptee does not face or deal with some of the feelings of loss and other feelings that adoption brings.

Being adopted for some is just an aspect of their lives, and it does not define who they are or their lives. To others they are adults that have experienced a normal happy childhood, and adoption was just how the story began. Some adoptees feel that they were parented through adoption by the people that were meant to be their parents.

Just because an adoptee experiences a feeling of loss does not equal being unhappy with being adopted. When we look at life we see the positive things and gifts that adoption has brought to us. Some of us cannot imagine our lives without our adoptive parents and the family that came through being adopted.

I believe there are more happy adoptees in this world than some would like to believe. The truth is that you hear and read about all the angry and unhappy ones so much more. The reason for that is that people that on in pain look for support through communities of people with the same experiences. This can lead one to the belief they represent most adoptees which is not the case.

Most happy adoptees do not become involved in the adoption community for several different reasons. First, they have a well adjusted life and do not feel the need for support from being adopted since this is not an issue for them. Second, in the adoptee communities, in most cases, are not a place for the happy adoptee. Just how many boards have you seen for the happy adoptee to talk about what a blessing adoption has been for them? The final reason for an adoptee to feel happy and talk about it; some people view it as a betrayal. While others list all the reasons the adoptee should not feel this way and imply the adoptee is wrong for feeling happy.

We are all not two peas in a pod meant to be the same. Every adoptee will have their individual feelings and experiences with adoption; this is what makes us different. We need to find a way and accept other adoptees views and experiences that may be drastically different than yours.


Related artilces at adoption.com:

Not Lost, But Found

My Life After Adoption

On Being Adopted

I've Looked at Adoption from Both Sides Now