Adoption is just like life, it is what we make of it (my personal opinion). In life you can focus on all the things you should have done or missed out on. It does not change things and tends to lead to unhappy people. Adoption is the same way. Yes, there is good and bad in adoption. I have not yet found anything perfect in this world. Chocolate melts in your mouth, makes you want more and it is quite delicious but it can bring unwanted pounds. Puppies are so soft, cute, cuddly and just plain adorable but they are huge responsibilities with time, money, space, etc.

Some adoptees grow up feeling they have been cheated out of their (birth) parents, siblings, culture, and other relatives. I have known some adoptees that have felt this way and the anger has bled over into their entire life. I can understand that some adoptees in different circumstances would feel angry, but you cannot let it become who you are. Some adoptees have feelings of angry about being adopted but have found healthy ways to deal with it.

Sadly, there are some adoptee that have become so consumed with their anger and pain that it becomes everyone's fault. When another adoptee or triad member of adoption talk about the happiness adoption can bring, they tend to be one of the people telling you all the reasons it is wrong to feel the way you do. Some adoptees are consumed with the negatives of adoption as a whole.

There are adoptees that have suffered abuse and not had a loving family through adoption. This is a horrible tragedy for any child or adult to have to live through. The same thing happens with natural parenting, but we do not do away with parenting all together. Could life have been better for an adoptee if she had stayed with her birth parents? It could be possible.

An adoptee was the right to feel angry just as an adoptee was the right to feel happy.

Related articles at adoption.com:

To Looking in the Mirror

Sharing Her Grief Story:

Many Hands: An Adoptee's Healing Journey