With the firsthand knowledge we have comes some firsthand emotional baggage as well. At times, it feels like a lot to balance. We’ll keep on plugging away at it tho.

This little boy is priceless beyond measure. He’ll have a lot of peace to make with his past. Much of it will have to be done after he has matured into an adult.

My mother lost seven children to adoption or foster care. She had been prostituting at different times in her life (I don’t think it’s wise to say “your mother was a prostitute”).

When I learned how my mother had been put in an orphanage (she was put there by social workers when she was six), with her two brothers because their father had abandoned the family, and my grandmother was struggling to take care of her children.

My mother was told leave the orphanage when she was 17. She went to men – had kids, did not know how to parent – did not understand committment and responsibility – she was abused, raped and later developed a mental illness and a drinking problem. My mother was alone, with a grade eight education and no support – no role models, and no guidance. Three generations of women had at one time lived in the same orphanage.

My mother was also a friendly, artistic and funny person. She was beautiful and charming.

I think it is also good to hi-light a mother’s qualities – certainly she has a personality, attributes and positive aspects of her that her daughter or son would love to hear about. Little girls do not grow up dreaming of one day prostituting themselves for money and losing their children to adoption.

It’s mportant for adopted people to know how their mothers ended up a situation that allowed her child/red to be taken or surrendered to foster care or adoption. Perhaps her daughter or son will have compassion for her, which can make the sad side somewhat more understandable and bearable.

- Faith

He came to us as a foster child at age 13 months, and was adopted a couple months past his 4th birthday. Because of this, we have a lot of first hand knowledge of his family, as well as many of the troubles that occurred.

We have struggled over how much to tell and when. He is just now, at age 10.5, beginning to comprehend what adoption means, and ask questions that are relevant and probing. Hearing your thoughts in the matter really gives us, as the parents, some much needed guidance. Thank you so much!