Grief for adoptees is pretty common or truly part of adoption. With every adoptee, the grief will be totally different, from the reason he or she is grieving to the degree of intensity.

Below are ways to deal with grief that as an adoptee you might be feeling:

1. Allow yourself to grieve without feeling guilt. Some people do not understand that an adoptee may feel grief even if he or she had a wonderful happy life through adoption. Even if an adoptee chooses not to deal with his or her grief, it does not mean it will go away. The grief will remain tucked away and will stay with you until you allow yourself to go through it.


2. Talking about your feelings can be very helpful. So have a support system that you can talk about things with. Your support system can be as simple as a trusted friend or even support from people going through the same thing on a web message board.


3. Do not get stuck in the grief process. By allowing yourself to stay in the grief stage, you will become consumed with it. If you find yourself in this situation find someone to help, a support group, therapist, or pastor. You need to work through your grief.


4. Realize that grief and the feeling of loss are two totally different things. You may always feel or have a sense of loss for your birth family, loss of a relationship due to death, loss of your heritage, or the loss of the country you were born in.


5. Reading about the grief process or how other adoptees deal with their grief can be helpful in your journey.

Related article at adoption.com:

Sharing Her Grief Story


Adult Adoptee Forum Message Board


Books about Grief:

Healing the Adoption Experience

Journey of the Adopted Self