March 9th, 2011
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Thankyou 2I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. My brothers and I were adopted at birth.  At a very young age, my parents lovingly explained that I was adopted and how special they felt being able to raise me.

One night, when I was in high school, my mom drove me to church for an overnight retreat.  It was at that time she explained the details of my birth and the birth of my younger brothers.  I remember thinking that memorable night I had something very special to be thankful for. I have never felt abandoned, unwanted, or unloved.  I felt as normal as any of my childhood friends.

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I never knew my birth mom and I decided early on never to invade her privacy.  I am sure it was a difficult decision for her.  Over the years I have thanked the Lord that she gave me my life.  I imagine she has thought about me from time to time in her life.

As I have grown older it is obvious that being adopted had shaped my views on social issues.  Life has challenges and difficulties for everyone.  I am very fortunate to have been adopted and not grown up in an environment like the Supremes sang about in their 1968 hit song “Love Child”.  I have a special place in my heart for children born to single moms and will do whatever I can to make their journey into adulthood less difficult.  We share a common trait that transcends all barriers.  My faith in the Lord has confirmed to me that “being here is a lot better than not being”.

We often have discussions in society about groups of individuals whose moral character elevates them to the status of a hero.  I agree with those who mention members of the military who protect and defend our freedom, civil service workers who protect our interest on a daily basis, and school teachers. I strongly feel that adults who adopt children are the unsung heroes in our society.  They do this without much recognition and with a lot of love.  It usually ends up being a successful situation for both the parent and child.

My parents, who did a fantastic job of raising me, have both passed away.  I think about them daily and how they are responsible for the success the Lord has given me.  In the final weeks of my mom’s life, I was in her hospital room early one morning.  She made the comment, “Look what I would have missed out on if I had said no when they called to tell me about you”.  I could not image growing up any other way.  My parents gave unselfishly to my brothers and me.  I have been blessed in a way I could never justifiably describe. I hope every adopted child has the opportunity to feel the love and happiness I have enjoyed. There is no feeling stronger than feeling loved and wanted.

I am thankful for courageous women who unselfishly place their babies’ best interests above their own. To make a decision of that magnitude must be excruciating. And to adoptive parents everywhere, thank you. You have left your mark in the world and in the hearts of these mothers and their children.

Written by Greg Samford

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20 Responses to “Gratitude”

  1. steelbutterfly says:

    Thanks for writing this. I feel exactly the same way about my adoptive parents. God is good and he give the best gifts. Both of my parents are gone now as well but I feel blessed every day to have been given such a wonderful family. And yes, adoptive parents are the unsung heroes of our society. They never know what they’re getting and they love us just the same :)

  2. lillian714 says:

    I too had the normal family. As soon as I was old enoght I was told how special I was I was chosen!!!!and how happy I was. Both of my adopted parents have past on. Miss them but do need to find out medical things, I’m so happy to hear from others that have a great life. God is watching over us.

    • ginalb says:

      How I wish that I the “chosen one” was never really “chosen.” I was told at the age of 7 while my adoptive mother was nursing her natural child and the question that I stated was the following: did I nurse too? A normal question. The statement was the following: No…you were adopted. I to this day remember what I was wearing where my adoptive father and their older natural son were standing and wearing. The pain of “adoption” has been a life long endeavor. Regardless of the education I achieved…though thrown out at the age of 16, I am now in the 2nd year of my Ph.D. I never amounted to their expectations of anyone. This was a private-black-market paid adoption. I cannnot begin to explain the pain and hate that I have experienced to the abuse, the hate, the experience of “being a non-person.” I still at an advanced age: do not exist. To describe this as depression…no, as I have a Masters in Psychology…it is the fact that they were not able to adopt the correct way with the intention of loving a child. So to those that read this…before you pass judgement…remember…I did not ask for this…it was provided to me.

      • tomasue says:

        I feel that pain, I wish I was never adopted.

        • lauerbug says:

          I am so sorry for your pain. I use to feel that pain. that non person feeling. You didn’t ask for this and it’s not fair but it is the way things are. My mother in law told me recently The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t! And I like that. There were some issues with my adopted parents but on the other side of that I turned out ok and you seem to have turned out pretty good phd and all but what if you hadn’t been adopted and ou would of been abused in some way or sold into child slavery or some other aweful thing that could of been. Im not saying you have to be grateful to them or love them or anything them. Life goes on if you want it to or not. Be who u are be accepting of the cards you were dealt. Holding onto hate and anger does not affect them at all the only person it hurts is you. You are giving them your energy and your power. I am not judging in any way as I said I felt this pain for a long time and tried to commit suicide many times but one day it clicked not only am I carrying around my baggage but the baggage of others to so i drop the bags. My fav sayings now are thats not my issue it’s yours and heres your bags sr. and being in psycholigy im sure you have heard fake it till you make it. If you pretend it doesnt matter long enough eventually it wont. and sorry for all the bad grammer and mis spellings psych ward stays don’t leave time for school. lol :)

      • tfanning says:

        After reading you feelings it brought tears to my eyes because this is the issuse I’ve struggled with for years when I walked away from the adoption agency as a young mother I was told my baby would go to a good home with great parents and I believed this to be true yet I still wondered about his well-being his life as I do to this day. you know it’s not easy for some mothers to make this discison yet we believe that we are giving our child a better life. I am so sorry for the way your adoption parent explain to you that you were adopted and more importantly the abuse you suffered and being thrown out at 16. All I can say to you is that you honestly is that through it all you made it I am so proud of you for the positive choices you have made in your life and most importantly you do exist to God and your birth mother who could be looking for you as we speak. I’ve been looking for my son for twenty six-years and I pray and ask God to please let me find him before I leave this earth.

  3. It’s nice to hear that we do make a difference. Thank you

  4. jennz13 says:

    i am a birthmother, and i am very happy your wrote this. I am also adopted. but read my profile, and ask me my story. not all adoptive parents are the “gems”. My parents are, and i feel, as a birthmother i am. But i have had the most tumultuous 3 years of my life…

  5. lanerenae says:

    I’ve always felt much the same way, was adopted at birth by wonderful parents who were only able to have one biological child but wanted more. They are in their 80′s now but I’m closer to my mom emotionally than ever their biological daughter. Thank you for this wonderful article!

  6. I love this. Please read my own story about this. No one is alone in any of it! : ) http://cueyourlife.com/2011/09/16/my-adoption-story-part-one/

  7. mindyl says:

    Thank you! I don’t think I could have written this any better.

  8. starwishn2 says:

    Perfectly stated! I also had a wonderful childhood. My parents were married 10 years and told they would never have children. After they adopted me, my mom discovered she was pregnant. I was lucky to grow up with a brother and sister as well. I am incredibly grateful for the love I grew up receiving. Thank you for expressing this so perfectly for all of us that feel the same way!

  9. chaseroo says:

    I’m trying to write my own blog,searching for my baby brother who was adopted in 1993,we were taken from our birth parents and i was placed in foster care until the age of 18,my other siblings were adopted,i have found my birth mother and one brother,but can not find my baby brother because they changed his last name,can anyone help me? I have his SS# but need his adopted last name.They said all adoptions in Texas are sealed.His birth name is Christian Frances Fisk,born Feb 26,1991 in dallas texas.

  10. Rita B says:

    I feel the same way you do. I was adopted at the age of 9 days old. I never left the hospital till the social worker took me to my family. I thank God everyday for placing me with them. I Couldn’t have asked for a better family. My mom (adoptive) passed away 4years ago,It really got me down cause we were very close but my dad is still alive and Im very thankful for still having time with him. My mom, sister, and my self started searching for my birth family 15 years ago, cause my mom and sister kept on at me till we did,ha but when she was alive she would always ask me to promise her I would finish it out if the Lord took her home but I would always smile and tell her she wasnt going anywhere , but when she got down and was in hospital I made her that promise and thats where I am now. I will say Im very close to the answers and I cant wait to finally look into my birth moms eyes and tell her thank you for giving me up and alowing me to have a good home and that Im not mad at her for giving me up. But I dont think I would be able to say that if I wasn’t raised in a great christan home with God fearing parents. I thank God everyday for them.

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