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Facebook. It is a great tool. Great for keeping in touch with family, for reconnecting with old friends and for finding new organizations and interests. It can also eat up lots of time reading status updates about friends from high school that you don’t even remember! I’m totally guilty of accepting almost any friend request even if I don’t remember the person. As long as I see they are from my hometown or share my profession or are friends with another friend of mine I accept the request. I just assume the person is someone I’ve met at some point but just don’t remember. I think this is pretty common Facebook behavior.
And sometimes if I’m just browsing around on Facebook (usually procrastinating rather than writing a blog post or doing work) I enter the names of old boyfriends or teachers or my best friend from grade school that I’ve lost touch with but keep searching for on the internet. It is amazing who you can find. I found my birth sister. I had learned her basic information – her name, her hometown, her high school – in the process of searching for my birth father. So one day I entered her name and her profile came up at the top of the list. I was shocked. I didn’t really think I’d find her. And I never expected to see a picture of someone who looks so much like me! I clicked it and she has basic info available to all Facebook users. About once a week I’d look at her profile again to see if she’d updated it or entered new info on her page.
I thought about sending a friend request but that just seemed weird. Sort of stalker-ish. And even if I did sent a request why would she accept it? We don’t know each other. Although strangely, our paths have crossed or nearly crossed over the years. I live in the city on the East coast where she grew up; she now lives in the town in the Midwest where I went to college. It is certainly feasible that we’d met at some point over the years. And out of obligation she might accept my friend request – just as I do with many people I don’t actually remember on Facebook.
I went back and forth about this for quite a while. Then my curiosity to see her pictures won out and I sent a request. I figured at that point the decision was out of my hands and I could accept either outcome. Then, within just a few hours, she accepted my friend request. She never emailed to ask how we knew each other and I never emailed to offer any information. We are just on each others friends list but don’t communicate. Does she wonder who I am? The resemblance is very strong – my husband said it thought he was looking at a picture of me, but younger (I made him pay for that comment for sure!). I looked through all of her pictures to see if she had any family pictures posted (she doesn’t). She updates her status frequently so I read about her daily life, her interests, her activities. And she must read about mine, as well. It is pretty surreal.
Photo Credit. Stephanie J. 1973
This is interesting. I’d love to hear more about this. We are chronicalling stories like this on my new website called goodkin – http://www.WeAreGoodkin.com. It’s a lifestyle site that focuses on non-tradtional families. Come take a look.
We also have a facebook fan page called wearegoodkin – fyi.
I actually found my birth family 9 months ago. I received the non-identifying information from the court house that in the town I live in. They accidently left my birth mom’s name on one of the sheets. I of course turned to the web to find her and I found her on facebook. I made my first contact with her thru there as I was way too chicken to go knock on her door! We eventually met and I now have a great relationship with her and my other siblings!! I think you should send her a message and tell her who you are, you won’t know without trying! The best part about it is it isn’t face to face, which is much easier! Good luck!!