[Continued from HERE … but ages ago!]

I’m sorry it’s been so long for the rest of this. “Technology Meltdown” has been the tune that I sing these days, (is that a song? should be) however, it seems as my laptop is recovering from its recent stroke and, at least for today, my internet is working, so am back online. Thanks for your patience.

The M Fray (which is how I will be referring to the Madonna adoption drama from now until the end of time) scenario seems to be bleached out by Hollywood lights and presumed scandal so much so that it is hard to tell if there really is any larger issues highlighted by this anecdotal situation. For the sake of argument, not to mention a little perspective, I would first like to step away from the actual M Fray and take a walk down a fictional yet not-so-fictional lane.

Let’s say there is a guy from East Somewhere in the Heartland of America. Let’s call him Earl. And let’s imagine that Earl is the only living parent of his son, Jethro. Earl knows he will never be able to provide for his boy, and he realizes that love and biology just aren’t enough to feed/clothe/educate/support/provide for Jethro. One day while reading Rolling Stone Magazine, Earl’s cousin sees an ad placed by some wealthy couple in the ‘burbs who really want a boy just like Jethro. The cousin tells Earl about the ad and suggests that he looks into it if he is sure he can’t take care of Jethro.

Earl answers the ad and meets the couple. The couple seems to love Jethro instantly and want to adopt him. The long and short of it is that Earl eventually agrees to an open-adoption with the couple. He knows they will take good care of Jethro. They seem like good people. And this way, Earl thinks, he can still keep in touch with his boy, watch him grow, and well, that would be good.

As they begin the process, the couple realizes that they may be able to skip some steps and expedite through a squash buddy, or a sorority sister who is now a family court judge. After much time, effort and bureaucracy, the adoption goes through, Jethro goes to live with the couple and Earl is kept in contact with his boy by the adoptive mother who sends him photos and updates.

While this is an incredibly skeletal (and only slightly tongue-in-cheek) sketch, it is not in any way an outrageous scenario. The rarest aspect of the whole thing is that the birth father is the one confronted with the decision alone, whereas in most true-life adoption stories, the agonizing over options is done by the birth mother. Rarities do occur, though, and accepting that Earl’s story might be rare (ok, technically imaginary, but work with me here) it is still a realistic silhouette.


[Next Blog: What If…-vs- M Fray]