This thought holds intense feelings, beliefs and strong emotions by everyone involved with adoption. Could this be a child’s way of denial? Is it an embarrassment?

Children want one thing, not to be different and to fit in with everyone else. So, when being labeled as being adopted, it can make this very difficult. I do not think it has to do with any of the questions above, I think it has more to do with the child, him or herself.

I remember as a child that my mom made statements or it came up in conversation with people on several occasions that we were adopted while we were present in the room. It really bothered me to hear my most private personal thing flow out to someone. I wonder why that person needed to know. They would always look at me, comment to my mom, “They are lucky to have you?” “What a wonderful thing” etc.. I remember my mom said it to someone when I was a teenager and I got the courage up to tell that it really hurt me when she announced to someone that I was adopted when I was present. She did not realize how I felt and did not mean to hurt me.

Why did this bother me?
When people learn this they feel the need to say something, comment or ask questions, which I may not at that point want to address, talk about or deal with being adopted. I always felt that I could see all their questions about me in their face, “What is wrong with her? Why would a mother not want her own child? How sad? What happened?” and on and on. I felt if I wanted to share that I was adopted then it was up to me and with who I wanted.

Continued........