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It is hard enough in junior high without a teacher making it more difficult for you. Only one of my friends knew I was adopted before my sister’s teacher decided to announce to the school that we both were adopted. I totally refused to discuss being adopted with anyone, even friends. I did learn that a couple of more girls that I was friendly with where also adopted but they did not want everyone to know.

Personally I believe it should up to the adopted child who and when to tell others about them being adopted. I did finally talk to my friends about being adopted but it had to be when I was ready and able to deal with the questions. Think about it, why do some women choose to wait to tell people that they are expecting a baby. Maybe they do not want to face all the questions or they are still getting use to the idea. Why should this be any different?

As a teenager I ended up making a few friends that were also adopted. I learned that we shared the same feelings about our being adopted, and it being up to us who to share our past with.

I have not chosen to share with my son’s school or his teacher that he is adopted. I guess my experience does have some bearing on my choice. My husband also works in the education field (as well as I have in the past), so I do know that this information is placed in a child’s permanent school file and in some area an adopted child can be labeled at risk. Which I think is totally wrong. I also know how student’s private information gets discussed within the school employees; even the counselor is not bound by confidentiality. So, I plan on leaving it up to my child when and who to tell they are adopted.


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