You would be surprised at how many times I’ve been asked this question. Occasionally by people that I am not close to (which is another whole subject in itself). I hate being asked this question for a lot of reasons. First, my adoptive mom and dad are my real parents.

What exactly does” real parents” mean? What, are my adoptive parents pretend, or just filling in? To me this is a sad way the general public views adoption and the people that are involved in adoption.

To me my real parents are the ones that were there when I was sick as a child, the ones to help me buy my first car, the ones to take me to church, the ones who taught me love and how to be loved, they were there when I was in pain, and they shared my joys of life with me.

They gave me discipline, structure, knowledge, morals and so much more. They taught me to believe in myself and to achieve my dreams. They taught me to be a caring, loving mother. They have supported my choices in my life, and maybe did not agree with them all, but supported me.

I am a daddy’s girl through and through. I adore my dad and he means the world to me. So, how can he not be my “real” family?

They are grandparents to my children. They were there when I gave birth to my daughter and when I adopted my other children. They are the ones that spend time with my children and adore them.

My birth mother is just that. She is the one that give me life, gave me the wonderful gift of adoption. She is the one that gave me a chance to have a “real” life and family. I think I read on Jan’s blog about birth mothers being called life mothers. I find it very fitting, since birth mothers choose to give their child a life through birth and adoption. Which I am very grateful for.

How do I respond to the question? Sure I know my real family quite well. I have lived with them most of my life.