I have read and heard discussions concerning adoptive parents loving their biological and adopted children differently. After spending a lot of time thinking about this and talking to others about it, I have decided to talk about it. As a parent to both, I was very put off with the subject in the beginning, but I have found myself thinking and talking more about it.

While I do realize that some adoptees are being treated very differently only because they are adopted which is wrong. I do not believe it is as common as some would like us to believe. Personally, I have known a couple of adoptees that dealt with being treated different in some cases to the biological child/children. With one adoptee, Sue it become an issue when they became adults. Her mother (adoptive) would show preference to her biological daughter. Her mother does not see it and feels that it doesn’t happen. Is this a difference in love and just in their relationship?

The reality is that a parent has a totally different relationship with each of their children. Does it matter whether they are adopted or biological? I am not implying that parents do not love their children. But is it a different love and connection with each child? We bond with people differently. Bonding leads to stronger relationships. When the subject is first brought up with parents their first reaction without thinking is to say they feel the same about all their children. Can this really be true? Once you start talking, there is clearly a child that they are closer to even as adults. I wonder if this is one of those ways we have been conditioned that everything must be the same with your children.


Continued...........

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