Continued......

Most mothers would give their own life to protect their children whether they are adopted are not. She asked, “If something happened to you while you were protecting your little ones, how do you think L (my bio daughter) would feel?” I believe that she would not question what I did (maybe what happened) and that she would know I did what I had to as a mother. She respond, “You really do not see or feel a difference between your children.” I know that if my bio daughter and young adopted daughter were in the street fixing to be hit by a car, I would get them out of the way or be hit myself. I asked, “You have three daughters and one is mentally retarded that will need life long care. Do you value her life any less than your other two daughters? Would you choose to protect them rather than her?” She responded, “They are all mine. I would probably protect my mentally retarded daughter because I know she cannot do it herself.” I said, “You have answered the question. We all do what we have to do to protect our children and there is not a rank in bio or adopted children. I would do anything for any of my children without thought to how they were given to me.” My friend really understood after I got over being mad and explained adoption and how I felt about it. She is a great friend and loves all my children. She even watches them on occasion. She cried after our talk, she felt that she had hurt me, thanked me for being open and explaining adoption to her.

As an adopted child I would do anything for my parents. I could not love them more if we had shared DNA. My dad would do anything for me and my children. When I am sick or something is going on with my children he will be there helping out or just calling to check on us, this is what love is about. My relationship with my mother is not an easy one but that is another whole story. If she needed me I would be there for her, but sad to say, her choice the last few years has been not to be there for me. To me she is still my mother that I love dearly. I choose not to let her problems later in life, control my life.