Can Adoption Reform Happen with Everyone on Different Sides?

The truth is that reform will not happen in adoption until the people involved in adoption put their insecurities, pain, and other issues with adoption and the others aside. This is the way to get to a common goal of reform in adoption. We cannot expect the public to take our desires to see adoption reform seriously when it seems like we are all caught up in ourselves, point fingers at each other, etc.

While I do understand that some people struggle with their part in the adoption circle that causes them great pain. Attacking others’ beliefs based on what they have experienced in the adoption journey is not helping things. Someone may have legitimate issues with what happened in their adoption experience, but it does not mean that it happens across the board with adoption. To imply this with words filled with pain, anger, etc is not going to get others to listen to what you are saying. Most likely, you will be ignored, or seen as consumed with pain shadowing your views. Honestly, the people you are directing your anger at did not have a part in your adoption issues; it is only because they do not see things as you demand they do.

This does not benefit the goal of adoption reform. I learned long ago that I was entitled to feel any way I want but this does not mean that it is always how things are or an accurate account of the overall picture.

I totally believe adoption reform can happen if all sides in the adoption community decide to put their differences, pains and issues aside to work together. Realistic expectations have to be the goal to work towards change and not the continual misconception that all adoption is bad or corrupt. You have to take baby steps before you can walk.

More reading:

Love Thursday: Learning More about Adoption

Adoption Feeling Second Best

Adoption: Family Trees and Second Best

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