Every adoption is different and every adoptee will have totally different experiences. I think we can all be honest that there are good ones and bad ones. It seems that we hear a lot about bad adoption and adoptees that have major issues with being adopted.

First, let’s admit that there is good and bad in everything in life including parenting and yes, even adoptive parenting. When adoptive parents turn out to be bad parents due to poor parenting, maybe not adopted for the right reasons and maybe they are not involved with their children at all, it does not really have anything to do with adoption. They would be bad parents whether they parented bio children or adoptive children, it just so happens that they are parenting adopted children. So, I do realize that there is a number of adoptees that are troubled because of adoption, which for the most part is due to their adoptive parents. The reality is children are dealing with parents that probably do not have any business being parents and in the end it does not matter if the child is in foster care, adoptive family or bio family, they have to move beyond the past. You cannot change what has happened in your life, really it does not matter the road that got you there (whether it has adoption or just crappy parents) but how you allow it to effect your life.

I have written about a lady that I worked with that was consumed with being adopted. She was a miserable person (that people would try to avoid because she was so negative and only seemed to be able to talk about being adopted, how bad it was, what she had missed out on) because she would not get beyond the problems in her adoption and how things could have been (in her mind).

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