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Adoptee Blog

11/30/07

Adoption is not Doom and Gloom

Posted by : Abby in Adoptee Blog at 08:15 pm , 447 words, 439 views  
Categories: Adoption as an "IS"
At times it seems like adoption is all doom and gloom for a whole number of reasons. You will have gloom in adoption just as everything else in this life. But gloom does not fill adoption as some would like others to believe. There are plenty of adoptees that have lived a happy and fulfilled life even with being adopted.

While there are a few adoptees that are scarred, wounded through adoption, this is not the case for most adoptees. Granted it is easy to wonder what kind of impact adoption will have on an adoptee when there seems to be so much negativity concerning adoption.

I had a conversation awhile back about why there only seemed to be adoptees blogging and speaking out that had great issues with adoption. The question was asked why do people look for things on the internet and the reasons are: the need of information, struggling with issues, looking to make sense of their own adoption, finding others with the same feelings to relate to, etc.. This means there is not necessarily a lot of unhappy adoptees out there but maybe some that struggle with adoption find themselves needing the outlet to write about their feelings. Most adoptees I know do not think adoption is a negative thing or a focus in their lives, which means they are living life. To them adoption is just a part of their lives not the source of their issues or pain, so they do not need to live with adoption as the focus.

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My parents did not raise me as being adopted (meaning I was raised just as other children) nor was it the central theme of my childhood. I was raised as any other child that was loved it just happened to be through adoption. I believe with adoptees the main thing should be providing them a loving family and allowing the too become the person they are. My childhood is not fulfilled with thoughts of adoption but normal childhood memories. When I think and remember things from my childhood it is about family times we had together, the holidays we celebrated, and the bonds that grew over the years. When I talk about my life I talk about my children, husband, family, pets, friends, childhood….my life which is not all about adoption.

This is one of my last adoption blogs here so I wanted to leave one last voice that adoption can be an amazing gift and experience when you are blessed with great adoptive parents. Do not believe all the gloom and doom about adoption.

More reading:

What Adoption Means to Me

Adoption is Not a Bad Thing

Photo Credit

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: rosemary7664 [Member]
I also had a wonderful experience as being an adoptee. It was never an issue with any family or friends. I question as to why I want to search, but I do. I don't know about other adoptees, but I feel as if I am not whole. I have always felt like something was missing inside me. Maybe that's just me. I want to know, but I don't want to feel rejected either. Does that make sense?
PermalinkPermalink 02/08/08 @ 10:44
Comment from: thirdcatproductions [Member]
Hi. My name is Jason, a Korean-American adoptee from

New York City. I am currently in post production on a

documentary tentatively titled "Going Home" which chronicles my journey to find my birth family in South Korea. As an adoptee, it was extremely important for me to depict the process and my own personal journey in an honest light, especially from a male's point of view. It is my belief that as an adoptee, I have very different views and definitions of what family is and it is constantly growing and evolving. I feel as though the general perception of adoptees is rather negative. However, this documentary is really a celebration of adoption and demonstrates that adoptees are not people with existential questions but are people who have

found or a searching for a unique balance in his/her environment. Please look at www.thirdcatproductions.com for more information. I hope you will support us in a journey that has meant so much to me.
PermalinkPermalink 02/10/08 @ 10:32
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