Adoption is such a complex and emotionally charged issue. We all have different thoughts and strong feelings about adoption just as we do with parenting, love, religion and politics.

Adoptive mothers are not hawks waiting for a pregnant lady to have a perfect baby that we can swoop down with a moment's notice and steal away the child. We do not go on the search looking for our prey to call our own. I do not think we are looking for ways to steal or adopt children unethically.

Can this and does this happen? Yes, but not with every adoption. Do some birth mothers regret their decision to place their baby up for adoption? Yes, I would imagine that most birth mothers have the “What if….”, question just as adoptees do.

Adoptive mothers are anything but this. They give their love, heart and life to a child that was born of another woman, but for the adoptive mother that is her child that she views as her own. A birth mother gives the child life and the adoptive mother teaches the child how to live life.

What a mixed message to send to the adopted child when birth mothers are in an open adoption and they feel that adoption is wrong in general. As an adoptee, I cannot imagine being in this situation, feeling that my birth mother felt or thought that my entire life meaning the way I was raised and parented was wrong. The feelings that an adoptee may develop as growing up knowing that her birth mother rejected her adoptive family and life while she was part of it. I thought open adoption was about the child and what was best for him or her. Isn't it about two mothers working together for the child’s best interest. But how can that truly work when one of those mothers views the other one as a part of a corrupt adoption world waiting to take her baby away?

I do understand that there is corruption in adoption but not with every adoption. When there are problems with something you try to fix it, not to totally do away with it. When your car has problems you take it to be repaired; you do not discard it. I believe adoption is worth trying to repair.

Without adoption where would the abused, unwanted, unplanned children be in this world be? If adoption would not have been an option for me as an adoptee, the thought of that my life would have been like is a big question. Maybe I would not have a life to talk about as I could have easier ended up dead as my half brother.

Adoption does not exist because of adoptive mothers wanting children for the most part. Adoption exists because children are in need of loving homes and parents. Adoptive mothers choose to care, love, nuture, protect, teach, and so much more to children that are in need of a mother. Sadly there are too many children in foster care, and orphanages that are in need of more adoptive mothers.

Related artilces at adoption.com:

My Life After Adoption

Make the Best of It