Comments on: Adoption: Family Trees and Second Best

By: chloe.ranno

chloe.ranno — Thu, 28 May 2009 17:28:05 +0000

I am also adopted and I feel as if I would want to be showed as adopted on a family tree. I a proud of being a adopted and in my family it makes me special. I think that if we were to have a family tree and I was put as adopted it would be to try and maybe find other relatives, like the two sisters I know about otherwise I probably wouldn’t have such a good chance of finding them.

By: little girl gray

little girl gray — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 18:14:35 +0000

I too am listed in my family tree as ( Adopted)..the funny thing is that the family died out and I am the last living member of the line there..and it continues with my children..but genetically the family that started the tree is gone..poof. Just a funny aside..but back to the subject. The reason my mother gave me for putting adopted next to the names of the ones who were not genetically linked to the famuly was so that if someone was trying to find a link to some genetic trait or illness..ie cancer they didnt have to go farther in that line..I know how it feels to see that adopted next to my name..but on the family tree they did list illegitimate next to other members who were born out of wedlock..so I did consider that they were at least being fair. But again..for me..what does the old tree matter…I am the last. lol..and my family goes on..I guess I get the last laugh.

By: pisces

pisces — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 13:13:37 +0000

This entry immediately brought up some buried stuff for me too. Although I’ve done enormous amounts of work on myself regarding adoption, it proves to me there is still a way to go. My adoptive mother is into geneology and the tree shows my brother and myself as adopted.

Like you and the other comment above, when I asked her about removing it, she said I was being oversensitive and it was important for people to know in the future.
But when I questioned why she didn’t write illegitimate next to the names of those children born out of wedlock in previous generations next to them, she became angry and told me that was absurd. I couldn’t and cannot see why this should be considered strange if labels are going to be fixed. All this happened a long time ago , but it shows that even the people who were involved in the whole adoption process don’t necessarily have any understanding of what an adoptee goes through.

By: thomasina

thomasina — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 23:14:52 +0000

I guess this goes to show how different people experience the same things differently. I am an adopted person who is interested in genealogy. I find that most genealogists put “adopted” into family trees to indicate that a child did not originate with that family and I put that in my own family tree by my own name. It doesn’t make me feel like less a member of my family. It just shows blood lines. It’s not a big deal to me at all.

By: beegirlny

beegirlny — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 21:20:52 +0000

Reading your entry brought back a memory I had forgotten about. I too, remember looking at the family tree and seeing that everyone was listed as “born” followed by their birth date except for my brother and I who were listed as “adopted” followed by our birthdates. It felt like a knife to the heart. Was I not born? I was a teenager who was already struggling with identity issues and seeing that was further proof that I didn’t belong. That wasn’t the day I was adopted, it was the day I was born. I was adopted months later. I told my parents but they too kind of blew it off like it wasn’t a big deal, but it was. They were great parents in every other way. People just need to realize that things that seem small are really big when it comes to adoption. I hope that all adoptive families in the future will be more sensitive to that. It would have made a difference to me.