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It is possible to, as they say open “Pandora’s Box” and things are not what you hoped for and imagined. It also could turn out to be a truly wonderful experience and one where you build a lasting relationship with your birth parents.

My daughter and son that we adopted through foster care came with a file about five inches thick. It starts when CPS came into the picture, ends at their adoption and also has birth family information that is provided to the adoptive parents. My daughter’s facts in the file are very different than her brother’s. For me to read about the past especially my daughter’s was at times more than I could bare, I would have to put it up for awhile, and I cried more than I think I ever have. As her mother, I cannot imagine her ever knowing these horrible facts of her life. My first instinct is to protect her from any of this and burn them. Reality is I cannot make the facts of her beginning go away or protect her from them. I have to raise a strong loving woman and pray that God we give us the strength to face her past and get through it without damaging her in the process. My best friends say I should get rid of the information and let her find her own way to her birth parents if the time comes.

Being an adoptee, I would have felt hurt, violated, and devastated if my parents kept or hid information about my beginning from me, not to say how I would begin to feel if they destroyed information that was in their possession. So, at this time I feel that this information belongs to my children, so it is placed away until the time is right.

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