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Do adoptees have the right to information about their adoption? What if you are an adoptee born in the time when birth mothers where promised, her identity would be protected? What if people know that the information about your past can be very painful for you?
Adoptees have the right to their information just as anyone else does. It is easier to process being adopted when you have an ideal of the beginning of your life. It should not be up to the court system, adoption agencies, or anyone else to decide if it is right for an adoptee to receive information about their adoption and birth parents. Yes, there was a time that it was believed that it would be best for everyone involved with adoption if the details were sealed to protect all parties. Now, the people that have lived through it know that is not the truth. There are birth mothers that may feel having contact or a relationship with the child that they gave up through adoption would be too painful. There are some circumstances that can lead to adoption and events in their life today that would lead to these feelings, their families not knowing about the pregnancy or adoption, pregnancy of rape, pregnancy of incest, etc.. Even with the possibility that the birth mother does not want contact; an adoptee should still be allowed information.
If it should happen that a birth mother does not want a relationship maybe because of the reasons mentioned above or other reasons, the adoptee should respect her feelings. This can also go for the same with an adoptee if they do not want the contact or relationship at that point in time, their feelings should also be respected. This doesn’t mean things or feelings will not change in the future.
Continued….
“What if you are an adoptee born in the time when birth mothers where promised, her identity would be protected?”
I have been in touch with many birth mothers, and only a few say that they really were promised confidentiality. Seems that is mostly a myth.
I agree, Jan. The confidentiality, I think, was mainly for mothers who wouldn’t have to worry about anyone finding out she was pregnant out of wed lock. She could go back to school, live in the same community…..and men would still want her (no one would have to know she had been pregnant). And I think it was more for the parents of the pregnant daughter. Was it ever about permanent anonymity for the mother to her child?
I don’t think governments realized what sealing records would cause. It’s interesting, though, no where on any adoption agreement or contract do you see the word confidentiality – it’s not there; and that’s because it’s impossible to guaruntee confidentiality — especially between mother and child. Imagine all the lawsuits that could have been filed against the government and adoption agencies had the words privacy and confidentiality been written into the contract. Every reunion could be a potential lawsuit.