There seems to be a misconception that adoptees should feel the same way along with having the same issues. This is totally an unrealistic view of adoptees just as it is with any other individuals. I understand that there are adoptees that are dealing with a great deal of pain, major issues and feelings concerning being adopted. I have never minimized these adoptees feelings or issues. After saying that, let me also say that not all adoptees fall in that category.

While I do relate to a lot of other adoptees’ feelings or issues I do not agree with every adoptee. We all have different personalities and needs. Just as all adoptive parents and birth parents are all not the same.

My sister (half) and I were adopted together, but have different needs, thoughts, feelings and experiences concerning adoption. To some, it may seem strange since we were raised together, but we have very different personalities.

There is not a right or wrong concerning adoptees feelings or the issues they may or may not be dealing with. We all deal with things in different ways and in different time periods. Some of us need being involved with support groups or counseling to work through our adoption issues while others work through their issues without the guidance of others. This does not make one adoptee more or less important because of his or her differences.

Along the adoption journey the feelings and issues can change for adoptees. The adoption journey is something that we have to navigate and experience in what works best for each of us. I do believe that you can gain insight by reading books or articles, researching, and hearing others’ experiences that can help you along your adoption journey but I think there is not road map that fits all adoptees.

More reading:

Adoption Consuming Adoptees

Adoption and the Life Effect to Adoptees

Adoption - the Problem or Just Part of Life