Adoptee and the Question of “Why

My best friend and I differ on our reviews on that adopted children deserves to know about their entire past the good, bad and ugly. My adopted children come from difficult pasts. One of my adopted children has a horrible past, that as I sit reading her file I cried for her and sick to stomach with the details of her beginning and the pain that she will one day learn. My friend believes I should burn the files and never tell my child the truth.

As an adoptee, I would have felt betrayed deceived if my parents would have keep the truth from me. That is my past my beginning and it is mine to know.


The thing is that all birth mother’s are different (just as any other people are) and they all have different reasons that lead up to their decision. Some adoptive parents are blessed with information about the birth parents while other adoptive parents are cursed by the information they known. The realty is that not all birth mothers are “June Cleaver” some adoptees are not that lucky. Yes, there are some great birth mothers out there but also there are also the not so great ones, some that have major problems or some that are down right bad birth mothers out there. Sadly there may be are of the later than some of us would like to think about.

Also there are great birth mothers, that I do not argue with. It can be great for the adoptees when they are blessed with a great birth mother.

I pray when the time comes for me to go through this with my adopted children I have the courage that my mom had that night to tell me the truth. I believe that the way I was raised gave me the ability to deal with my past. I have to trust that I will be able to raise my beloved daughter feeling love, strong and courageous to one day face her beginning in this life.


More reading:

What are Society’s Expectations of Adoptees

Sunshine and Lollipops