Both need to be prepared and willing for a reunion, contact or a relationship. In the beginning other birth family members can only make things more difficult and overwhelming to the adoptee when they become involved too fast or push themselves into an adoptee’s life. Timing is everything when birth mother and birth family decide to pop into the adoptee’s life. If the adoptee is going through a important event in their life, like marriage, pregnancy, birth of a child, divorce, death of adoptive parent and other life events, it may not the best time to establish contact. An adoptee needs to be in a place that they can emotionally deal with this and time to become comfortable with it.

My birth family was close to my extended adoptive family, so they knew about my life and the events of my life. This was kind of strange for me to know that they knew most details of my life from afar. My birth family decided to make contact with me after I gave birth to my daughter. I will explain what was happening personally with me so that one might understand my reaction better. I was told at six weeks I was going to miscarry; I was placed on bed rest at that point. I continued with my pregnancy but it became a high risk pregnancy for me and my daughter. I was hospitalized for a period of time, my daughter was born three months premature (weighing a whopping 2 lbs 1 oz) because my organs had begin to shut down. We knew the risk for one of us not to make it through the pregnancy was a reality. I wanted a child for a very long time and had being trying for a few years so, losing my baby was not an option for me.

Continued............