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Adoptees, Birth and Adoptive Parents and Everyone Else – Needs
So as you can see adoptees are darned if they do and darned if they do not, when it is adoption issues and choices, pretty sad when you think about it. The birth and adoptive parents choose this adoption journey in their lives but the adoptees did not. Others made life changing choices for us. When the truth is that the adoptees are living the life we were dealt by ours. We want to please our parents including birth parents and sometimes we have to do what is best for us.
Stop and think about how difficult it can be at times when you are married having your set of parents and then your in laws. We can pretend like there is no big deal when holidays, family events, birthdays, vacations and family but when you add another whole family (some cases, two additional families since in most cases you will have birth father’s family and birth mother’s family) in the mix of adoptees lives things can get dicey rather fast. Yes, once again the adoptees are in the middle most likely unable to be there for everyone.
Most adoptive parents understand the desire of an adoptee to want to search for their birth parents. They do have their fears they do not want to see their child hurt because the reality is that all adoptees do not have great birth parents. Some adoptees are blessed to have birth mothers like Jenna and Coley but they are not always like that. I believe all adoptees would love to find a birth mother like one of them at the end of their search. Adoptive parents have their concerns about their children needing them when they find their birth family. I find myself wondering how, or will my relationship change with my children when they search for their birth parents. It is a natural thing to think about.
Continued………..
More reading:
Adoption, Adoptees and Reality
Adoptee and the Question of “Why”
Adoptees Feelings and Question of “Why”, When the Beginning is not Perfect
