Adoptees, Birth and Adoptive Parents and Everyone Else

The adoptive parents need to know that they will always have a place in our life for them. They are our parents no matter what. They do not what to be shut out of part of our life. They want to protect us from possible hurt, etc. which is all realistic for them to feel. We also know that our adoptive parents have their own fears about our relationship with our birth families and we do realize it even when they try to hide it. If the adoptive parents did not experience some of these feelings to an extent, then I would be concerned, because that is what makes them parents.

Birth parents need to know how they fit into our lives. They may want to feel a parental role, some want to make up for or forget the past, acceptance, privacy, significant part of our lives, forgiveness, None of the needs or desires are wrong to be feeling, but with some adoptees these may not be a realty.

Now for the famous societal (which also includes other family members and friends) needs of adoptees. Yes, they do exist. I will just name a few of them for you to get the idea. Some people seem upset if adoptees do look for or have a relationship with their birth parents. We are asked, “Why can't you be happy with the family (meaning adoptive) you have? Don’t you love your family (meaning adoptive)? How could you do that to your parents (meaning adoptive)? What if they (meaning birth parents) do not want anything to do with you?”

Then you have other that say, “Why don't you want to find your birth parents? I cannot imagine not wanting to own my “real” parents. Are you not curious about them? Why don’t you want to know them (meaning birth parents)? What about your children?”

Continued..........

More reading:


Not Against Birth Mothers

The Line in the Sand

What do Adoptees Hope to Find?