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It can be difficult for adoptees to navigate through the adoption journey when so many people are added to the mix. We are the person standing in the middle of it all. Everyone wants or needs something from the adoptees. Which is not a bad thing but it can be overwhelming at times. I am not saying what they want or need is wrong or bad in anyway for anybody involved.
Adoptees (most) carry around baggage throughout their lives, some more than others while others have very minimal baggage. Could this be why adoptees have such strong feelings about adoption and the issues that surround it?
That is why I tend to be passionate about adoption issues. I guess that is why I personally do not think placing labels on the triad members is helpful in the grand scheme of things. Yes, while the term first mother works for some birth mothers and others which is great for them. It will not work for every adoptee and we have to realize that. The name or title adoptees can call their adoptive or birth parents should be up to them. Not what society or others want. I have earned the right to call my birth parents and adoptive parents whatever I choose. No, I do not think anyone including adoptees should be hurtful in what they choose to call someone.
Then we have our feelings and needs to deal with besides the birth parents, adoptive parents, and society. No wonder so many adoptees feel pulled in different directions or torn. Sometimes it is very hard being the person in the middle and everyone needing or wanting something from us.
I am not saying that all adoptees or any other person has these same feelings or needs. I am just trying to show how overwhelming, pulled adoptees can feel and some insight into how adoptees may see or feel about things. Hopefully some may see that adoptees have been placed into the middle of a difficult situation of the most part.
Continued………Adoptees, Birth and Adoptive Parents and Everyone Else – Needs
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There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that adoptees are in a tight spot all the way around. Thank you for sharing your unique point of view and helping the rest of us to understand.