I have watched two of my daughters struggle with bonding and forming their own relationship. I do understand that the age difference does have an impact on this, but there is a rift starting to form between them. My hearts breaks for my young baby daughter (adopted), because I know the pain that she is starting to feel.

I am haunted by the thought of my children not having a close relationship with each other. I want so much to spare my baby daughter the pain of feeling rejected by her sister as I did growing up and still face to this day. I have spent a lot of time talking with my oldest daughter (birth) about this and I do understand some of her feelings. I am super close to these two daughters; they are momma’s girls without a doubt.

We were working in the flowerbed. My oldest does not care for it (but wanted to be with me) and my baby daughter loves it. They were together talking, acting silly, and just having fun. I sat later on my front porch looking at the flowerbed wishing that my girls could share more times like that together. I could not help but think what brought those two together that day. Then it hit me they were there because of me.

I can be the bridge that brings my two daughters together. I have decided that I have the ability to help (force) a relationship between the two of them. This does take work but it can be helpful for the siblings. There are ways for adoptive parents to help bridge a relationship for the siblings.

The adoptive parents should play a major role in their children's relationships. A parent can set up siblings to have meaningful time together. This is what I mean by a forced relationship. In time that your children can start bonding and developing a lasting relationship with a little help from mom. Okay, moms, you know that we can be creative, and can be hmmm…. a little lets say manipulating when the occasion arises.
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Adoptee and Sibling Struggles with Their Relationship

How to Help Bridge a Relationship with an Adoptee and Sibling