Should all adoptions be open? Are there benefits to having a closed adoption?

I do believe that open adoption can be a great benefit for all parties. This does not mean it is right for everyone. I was adopted in a closed adoption. I feel that it was the right thing for my family and me. I do not feel that I have suffered from being in a closed adoption. My parents provided me the information to find my birth mother and left the choice of contact up to me. As an adult, I was able to figure out how my birth family would fit in my life, if at all. I do know that all adoptees do not feel this way but there are some adoptees that are content with having a closed adoption. Closed adoption does not mean that you cannot have information about your birth parents.

A lot of adoptions through the foster care system are closed adoptions. Which in a number of cases are in the best interest of the children. As an adoptive parent I feel more comfortable with a closed adoption. When my children were adopted, we agreed to have limited contact with only the birth dad since he was the only one involved with the children at this point. There would be contact through letters and pictures, four times a year. We opened a post office box and used an assumed name to protect ourselves. It was agreed that both parties would have to maintain ongoing contact and if birth dad did not maintain contact for a year our agreement would be null and void. He did maintain contact for several months and then it stopped all together. He did not make contact for a year and our post office box was closed.

I believe we all need to understand that closed adoptions may be right for others. I think if open adoption feels right for you then it is the right choice for you. It does not mean it is the right choice for all people involved with adoptions.


Related articles from adoptees and the impact of adoption in their lives at adoption.com.

How Adoption has Shaped My Life


The Story of an Adult Adoptee