Continued.......

The beginning of my being may not have been the ideal or best of circumstances, but I know it is what it is and I cannot change it nor do I want to. Being born to a mother that chose drugs, men and bad life choices other than her unborn baby, is not something someone wants to hear but again it is what is. Choosing to not allow the negatives of your being for the beginning to control or cast a dark shadow over your life is the important thing. The birth mother that placed an unborn baby at such risk for a life filled with unknown possible effects of her choices would have on her unwanted baby; I have made peace with her choices. I cannot lie that was the hardest thing for me to deal with and took the longest time. In the end I know that I am the person I am and the mother that I am because of my journey in life, which started as an unwanted and unborn baby. In time I learned that my birth mother is the one that lost so much more than I. She will be haunted with the choices she made instead of doing right by the children she gave up. Within time maybe she can find peace with her choices, forgive herself, move on in her life and get beyond the past. I have forgiven her for not loving or wanting her unborn baby to not thinking of the possible damage she was doing to me, and I am grateful for the life she gave me through adoption.

Yes, there can be pain in accepting the facts of your adoption, but moving beyond the pain by dealing with the facts and your feelings can free you of the pain. You are who are, how you came to be is only a small but important piece in whom you will become. How you choose to accept the facts of your adoption and how you came to be, will decide if you will let it control your life or you will make the journey to find peace with yourself and your birth mother.

I am sorry this was such a long posting.