This is something that takes time and will not happen overnight. The effects will have different impact on everyone involved and every adoption. The way one person may find peace with being adopted may not work for another. Things and feelings also change as you get older, going through different phases of your life, and learning more information about your adoption leads to more to process.

As a child you have basic information about why and the reasons surrounding your adoption. As you become a young adult, most likely you will have information about your past, reasons surrounding your adoption. These can be different as night and day for some.

A number of adoptees are placed up for adoption by their birth mothers because they want a better life for their child and they might be unable to offer at this point in their life.
There are so many different reasons that birth mothers find themselves unable to parent a child at this point in their life. There could be any number of challenges that face the birth mother from an unplanned pregnancy, financial, emotional, tragedies, teenage pregnancy, etc, that leads her to feel that adoption is best for her baby. I believe this is the greatest love, gift, and sacrifice that a birth mother could give to her child. It is an amazing sacrifice for the birth mother to allow her baby, part of her to be adopted and to have the life she dreamed that she could offer. These children may have been unplanned but they are definitely wanted and loved by their birth mothers, as Jan Baker stated, which I totally agree with. Sadly, not all adoptions start like this or even have the birth mother that think of her child.

Continued..........