I can see where all of these things can be painful (or annoying) to hear. I know some people think it is a good idea to tell a child that he was "chosen." I tell my son the truth -- that his birthmother chose US to be his parents. We were the ones who needed to be screened -- he was this precious child who his birthmother loved, and she did the screening to choose the best home for HIM. In addition to being the truth, I think this presentation of adoption puts the focus where it needs to be -- that he was always wanted, by both his birth parents and adoptive parents -- and that we, as his adoptive parents, were the ones who had to "earn" our way into his life, not the other way around.

I know many adoptees who have been emotionally scarred by being told repeatedly how "lucky" they were to be adopted. I always tell people that **I** am the one who is lucky, and really a better word is "blessed." :0)

Take care,

- Faith

Faith,
Sounds like you have the right idea concerning your son.

People do not realize how damaging the remarks or comments about one being adopted can be.

I agree "blessed" is the perfect word. I correct people when they use the "lucky" word concerning my children and use the "blessed" word instead.

Abby

I think there should be a #11...

"Let me introduce you to our adopted (daughter or son)"