Differences as Adoptee and Adoptive Mom with Conversations

As an adoptee, the second area is how I tend to be. Why? Maybe it was something to do with the society’s view towards adoptees: Something has to be wrong with them for their own mother not to want or love them. With adoption will come a whole host of mental problems facing the adoptees. Adoptees tend to be messed up people. Etc. The truth is that you cannot have a conversation with someone that looks... more

While reading Jenna’s blog; Handling Uncomfortable Conversations, it got me to thinking as an adoptee and adoptive mother. While I was commenting on her blog I was thinking of conversations I have from two very different viewpoints. I found myself realizing that I am very different when handling the conversations that tend to put adoption and triad members in a negative light very differently.

One area I am blunt, take nothing, put you in your place without... more

Adoptees, Birth and Adoptive Parents and Everyone Else - Coping

The needs and desires of birth parents can add to an already stressful situation with even trying to get to know them and develop an ongoing relationship. Some birth mothers, who are dealing with privacy issues, do not want to discuss or have adoptees involved with the birth fathers. Refusing the adoptees the birth father connection can be very hurtful to adoptees. When birth parents desire the parental... more

Adoptees, Birth and Adoptive Parents and Everyone Else - Needs

So as you can see adoptees are darned if they do and darned if they do not, when it is adoption issues and choices, pretty sad when you think about it. The birth and adoptive parents choose this adoption journey in their lives but the adoptees did not. Others made life changing choices for us. When the truth is that the adoptees are living the life we were dealt by ours. We want to please our parents... more

Virginia has initiated a new law “Putative Father Registry” this month. It allows men that have had sexual relations with a woman other than his wife if married, to record the encounter in case a pregnancy happens. This allows him to block any adoptions in the future without his knowledge.

A man can go file a report about their relations with their girlfriend, mistress, their one night stand, etc. online with the state. There is no limit to how many times he reports encounters.... more

Adoptees, Birth and Adoptive Parents and Everyone Else

The adoptive parents need to know that they will always have a place in our life for them. They are our parents no matter what. They do not what to be shut out of part of our life. They want to protect us from possible hurt, etc. which is all realistic for them to feel. We also know that our adoptive parents have their own fears about our relationship with our birth families and we do realize it even when they try... more

It can be difficult for adoptees to navigate through the adoption journey when so many people are added to the mix. We are the person standing in the middle of it all. Everyone wants or needs something from the adoptees. Which is not a bad thing but it can be overwhelming at times. I am not saying what they want or need is wrong or bad in anyway for anybody involved.

Adoptees (most) carry around baggage throughout their lives, some more than others while others have very minimal baggage. Could this be why adoptees have such strong feelings about adoption and... more

In Missouri, the weight of a person has become a factor in adoption. Sandra talked about this happening in Australia in her international adoption blog. It seemed unreal that it would happen in the United States.

A foster parent that is licensed, provided kinship foster placement for an infant cousin that the birth mother was unable to care for. The couple went to family court to adopt the baby they were caring for... more

Siblings’ forming a life long relationship through adoption is a beautiful thing to watch grow and blossom. This is a very important thing for the adoptees and biological children to bond and make memories. Some siblings struggle with making and maintaining relationships with their siblings. Parents can be a great help helping siblings bond.

The truth is that it is not always easy adding children of different ages, backgrounds and needs to an already made family. By... more

In the grand scheme of things in adoption, is the title that you want others to call you so important. Is the title for the general public to call you or is it for the adoptee? By the way I have never been crazy about the title adoptee. Truthfully this is the only place I refer to myself or even others as adoptees. The title adoptee is what it is.It is just a way to identify a person that has been adopted nothing more or less. Seriously, I cannot see myself introducing myself as Abby the adoptee.

Using the title, "first mother", seems kind of strange. Would you also call your spouse... more