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Even though reading the blogs helped me to unravel the puzzle involving ‘topics,’ ‘problems’ and their specificity (or not) to adoptees, there was also a lot there that has made me sad.

I feel sad for my fellow adoptees that can not seem to find piece of mind. I feel sad that they do not appear to realize that while they may not have ‘chosen’ to be adopted or be raised by people of a different race or whatever, these things were/are/will always be parts of their reality, part of who they are. I feel sad that they can’t embrace those... more

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Here is a definition for you:

Obsession n. Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion; often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.

I know that when I become obsessed with something, my brain turns into a gaming room. It goes to great lengths to keep pulling the slot machine handle its got in there in an attempt to look at the endless permutations of angles on the topic spinning around on the drums. The game then usually changes from the machines... more

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Without exception, every blog I read was by someone either in the process of searching or who had completed the process, although with less than pleasing results. All of the searchers had to surmount obstacle after obstacle in order to get any information about their birth parents/families. Some of the adopted bloggers, despite their best efforts, were so far unable to locate anyone from their birth family, while others found their birth parent/parents already dead (they found a grave…). Some birth mothers were unwilling to meet. Some birth mothers... more

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I knew to expect mostly negative attitudes towards adoption from adoptees posting on the Internet. I knew there were many injured souls out there using the cyber-ether as an opportunity for catharsis and finding a support network of others with similar experiences and equally funky-fresh-fly pseudonyms. I think writing is a great way to let go of the things that have hurt us, to express feelings that don’t roll off the tongue the way they do off the fingertips. Many of the blogs I read had this element to them… except for the letting go bit. ... more

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As a bit of a leg stretching exercise, as well as because it is about time we do this, let's take a nice, wide, sidestep to our "TOPIC" list. Just to refresh your memory, here it is:

TOPICS 1. Inability to access birth information; 2. Wanting/desire to know one’s life story/ Curiosity about one’s roots/ Wanting to know who and why one exists on the planet; 3. Medical history; 4. Not knowing/growing with biologically connected siblings.

While these topics were not specifically the... more

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As I mentioned in the blog with various facts and tidbits, many studies pointed to parenting styles, family communication levels and atmosphere in families as the major determining factors for both adoptees’ and non-adoptees’ mental health and adjustment. In some of the studies that focused on families with both biological and adopted children, the adoptees were mentioned as those siblings that were the best adjusted, most social and most independent. Some adoptees were reported to ‘find’ their identity quicker than their biologically linked siblings.... more

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Just as I was getting on a role with this series, my electricity was sketchy and internet nearly nil for the past few days, and so … very sorry about the delay. In case you have forgotten where we were, this blog had the statistics comparing the mental health/adjustment/behavior of adoptees to the same for non-adoptees, while the blog before the one you are reading now had some random ‘findings’ from the multitude of studies I researched.

Now... more

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In addition to main statics, there were a few conclusions that popped up here and there that I either found hilarious or interesting or random or, even, some mixture of the three:

* In an 1987 study, adoptees found their mothers to be more autocratic than their non-adopted counterparts (ha HA! Just kidding, Mom)

* A study adding non-adoptees with single parents to the mix found, "Over 80 percent [of adoptees] had some formal qualifications by age 23, while just over 75 percent of the two-parent biological group had similar credentials,... more

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I kept statistical count of the conclusions in my random sampling of studies (and I do mean random: not alphabetical, not chronological, not skewed this way or that, just reading everything there was on the topic until my eyes nearly fell out.) Here are the patterns that I found:

75.6% of the studies I read (34 out of 45) indicated that there were no significant differences between the adjustment of both adolescent and adult adoptees including self-esteem and the ability to form relationships with their non-adopted counterparts.... more

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I went to a handful of websites with information on and/or links to a large selection of studies. The first research I read was the piece that had researched all the research on adoptee vs non-adoptee behavior/adjustment/psychological profile.

This was really a lucky find, as it cautioned to pay special attention to the nature of study participants. The major points of concern were:

- "Clinically chosen" and "referred" indicates that these participants were already undergoing therapy or some sort of mental treatment.... more