As some of you may have read in the comments section of Who Knew, this will be my last month blogging.

The truth of the matter is I am just too bloody slow to make this worth my while. I’m one of those writers that will sit and write for three hours (often after a few hours of research or more), edit for another two hours, whittling away, nudging, adding, subtracting, deleting, inserting, switch-a-rooing, cut-and-pasting... more

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I guess this eyebrow-furrowing phenomenon might come from the fact that we Americans often extol the virtues of exchange and sharing ideas. We idolize conversation, debate, protracted salubrious spittle-infested blather. We cherish our soap boxes and our pseudo-mediatory dialogue with equal relish. And yet, in our modern incarnation, we find it incredibly difficult to actually read what someone... more

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I’ve addressed the whole ‘denial’ thing before. I find the accusation a lame attempt at somehow discrediting me and/or any other relatively happy adoptees simply for not being miserable, for not adding to their basis for rationalizing that adoption is, in general, a horrible thing because... more

It seems as though what made it to the bottom of the mountain after my avalanche of words trying to clarify truly adoption related ‘issues’ and how well the majority of adoptees are adjusted (or not), was that my perspective marginalizes and robs adoptees and birth parents who are traumatized by their adoption experience and/or ‘working through’ their problems from the same. Apparently, I am insensitive with completely unfair, judgmental and unrealistic perceptions of the ‘issues’ plaguing adoptees. There are those convinced that... more

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If you are an international adoptee and feel you would have been better off in your own country, DO go there, but don’t stay in fancy hotels or with expats. Go live in a village and study the language. Get a real sense of the life that may have been yours. If you can, don’t do this for a couple of weeks, do it for a year, at least. The great news is if you really feel that... more

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The ‘take action’ options are so multitudinous I could not ever think of them all. What I do know, am thinking, is that mobilizing yourself empowers you. Wallowing, suffocating, in your pain, in the feeling that you have been victimized, does not empower you, it chains you to that pain so that there may come a time when you CAN’T come up for air, even if you want... more

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Is there nothing you can change? Are you powerless? No. Absolutely not. You may not have a say at birth or during the first few years of life, but you can be fairly in control of your life now. It is your turn to choose: your ‘adult’ family including your friends, your significant other and whether or not to have children. You are also responsible for choosing your job, your religion,... more

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Having done all this work, separating and sorting and generally de-distorting the adoption-related ins and outs of your life, it is a good time to accept unequivocally the fact you were adopted … it is part of the unchangeable story of you.

Here’s an ironic nibble, if you will: once you were officially adopted and became part of your family, the adoption part was over.... more

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So I have just one favor to ask of you. It’s not really a favor to me. It is a favor to your self.

Go to a quiet place, both physically and as much as possible, mentally. Think about each of the things that make you angry about being adopted, the things that have plagued you and made you feel so alone your whole life. I mean REALLY think about them. Break each one down to their... more

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p.p.p.s. Notes To My Fellow Adoptees

A long, long series, this has been: pages and pages of “Issues and Issues” leading to a bunch of well-intentioned, far too bossy post scripts. Finally, this is it, the caboose of the series, the p.s. to end all others, the last leg of the pot getting some bolstering and buffing, the one to my peers … the one they may not want... more