There are things that adoption can teach adoptees about life and so much more. Yes, there are good and bad learning experiences in all areas of life, but today I am talking about the good.

Unconditional love is the greatest thing I believe an adoptee can get from adoption. For me to know that my adoptive parents are there for me no matter what mistakes I make in my life and I know that their unconditional love will always be there for me. The most amazing thing is that these people made a choice and wanted to provide you this unconditional love and make you a part of their family.

Understanding and caring is most important things you learn from being adopted. You learn... more

Do adopted babies and children suffer from the same intense feelings about adoption and the feelings of loss? This seems to be discussed quite a bit on the internet. I guess it would depend on who you talked to and his or her experiences.

When children are adopted, they come with memories, deep bonds of their birth family, and their sense of being has been developing over time. Their feelings and connection to all of these things are extremely powerful. The struggle that some adopted children struggle with is the betrayal that they feel towards either their adoptive or birth families. Some of these children are haunted by their memories of the past and then by the new memories they... more

A knock on the door and in front of you stands a stranger or stangers calling themselves your family, it can be overwhelming if you are not prepared for it. Yes, the people may be your birth family, but at that point they are strangers to you.

One response is to be happy and hope to build a relationship with them. Some adoptees will have these feelings. Maybe they have prepared themselves for contact with the birth family. If an adoptee has been searching for his or her birth family, this could be a good surprise for him or her. This could be the beginning to a great start in building a relationship with your birth family.

Another response can be a shock or even to close... more

Should all adoptions be open? Are there benefits to having a closed adoption?

I do believe that open adoption can be a great benefit for all parties. This does not mean it is right for everyone. I was adopted in a closed adoption. I feel that it was the right thing for my family and me. I do not feel that I have suffered from being in a closed adoption. My parents provided me the information to find my birth mother and left the choice of contact up to me. As an adult, I was able to figure out how my birth family would fit in my life, if... more

This can be stressful and a lot for you to deal with, so going slow and taking your time can help this process. You need to think of what you want out of contacting your birth family, a full family contact, occasional phone call and emails this could possibly include some in-person visits, or just a one time meeting. The next thing you need to think of is what you hope to get out of searching or making contact with your birth family, to have a relationship with them, to get medical information, or just the story of your beginning and what happened.

Every person involved in this process, should respect the other person's feelings, thoughts, desires, and beliefs. Being open, up front... more

Each adoptee will have different views, thoughts, and opinions, very strong ones at that about their birth families. For one person searching for his or her birth family can be everything and another person does not have any interest in contact with his or her birth families. As adoptees we all have different needs, desires, and beliefs, about our adoption and our birth family. We all have the right to different feelings and ways that we choose to deal or not to deal with our adoption and birth families. Our differences do not make one of us right and the other one wrong.

There are adoptees who are content, happy and at peace with not having contact or searching for their birth... more

This journey can bring to the surface some thoughts and feelings that may have not been felt in the past. Along with the pregnancy hormones and then trying to process these feelings can be a lot to deal with.

This is written from the point of view of an adopted mother to be.

When you learn that you are expecting a baby, there are so many emotions that you may feel and then, on top of that, the feelings about your own birth and adoption begin to surface. Boy, these are not the emotions that you think about when you learn that you are pregnant. A few weeks along the way I had found myself thinking about what my birth mother experienced and thought while pregnant with me.... more

The thought of parenthood can seem overwhelming to some adoptees. I have known adoptees who did not want to have children. The thought of what kind of parent they would be played a part in the choice. Feeling unable to bond with others, the thought that he or she would be an unfit parent, feelings about his or her past abandonment issues and other thoughts can make one question their ability to be a parent.

On the other hand, some adoptees cannot wait to be parents and feel that they will be great parents. This does not mean parenthood may not bring up some thoughts and feelings about being adopted.

Why do adoptees have such extreme feelings on parenthood? How one was... more

What if your birth parents had raised you? I hear other adoptees talking about how their lives might have been if they were not adopted and raised by their birth family. Yes, if you have a normal and loving birth family, I can see one having the thought. The reality is if the child was not placed up for adoption, this would have an impact on the events of the birth family. Changing the smallest event in time can changed the whole outcome.

As a child I wanted a brother so desperately that I continued to beg my parents to adopt a boy. Much later I learned that I had an older half brother and an older half sister that my birth mother raised. Could she have raised my sister and me?... more

Every time an adoptee goes to a doctor appointment or other medical appointment, the words you dread hearing are “What is your family history?” This lack of medical information is also carried to the adoptee’s children. There comes a point that adoptees and their family do wish they knew more medical facts about their birth families, maybe it is because they discover that he or she are facing a major illness. Having a child born with birth defects can lead to someone wanting to know more about his or her past and birth family.

I know an adoptee that was not bothered by not having any medical information about her birth family. When her daughter became very ill and was faced with... more