She Had The Strength Of Lions

September 18th, 2013
Posted By: on Adoptee

I said in my first blog posting that what I will be writing will be in no way linear, so I’m going to come right up to recent history today. Writing this is part-catharsis. I’ve been in a hell of a place in the past couple of months, and that will probably be of no surprise when I explain. On the 23rd of June 2013, after suffering for 30+ years with multiple sclerosis, my birth mother Sandra died in hospital. As she drew her last breath her husband Peter was there, as was I, and my partner too. I’ve never seen someone die in front of me, and Sandra was the one person that I had the most complicated relationship with. That all… [more]

Quote from a Mother

May 29th, 2012
Posted By: on Adoptee

Below is a quote from a mother.  I found this notion on an evening when I WAS wondering if the fact that I always feel less than my sister, who is a biological, was my insecurity or rooted in my status as an adopted. The first thing that showed up was this. "I have biological and adopted children and I have to admit that, while I love/adore them all fiercely, there is something primal about the way I love my biological children. It's not something I control, it's just there. They all feel equally special." They all feel equally special. Except some know that they are adopted and that no “primal” love exists for them. We assume they would never guess it……never notice……after all, they were chosen. I certainly hope my mother has… [more]

Gratitude

March 9th, 2011
Posted By: on Adoptee

Thankyou 2I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. My brothers and I were adopted at birth.  At a very young age, my parents lovingly explained that I was adopted and how special they felt being able to raise me. One night, when I was in high school, my mom drove me to church for an overnight retreat.  It was at that time she explained the details of my birth and the birth of my younger brothers.  I remember thinking that memorable night I had something very special to be thankful for. I have never felt abandoned, unwanted, or unloved.  I felt as normal as any of my childhood friends. I never knew my birth mom and I decided early on… [more]

Birth Mothers

January 30th, 2010
Posted By: on Adoptee

T-shirt Lately I've been reading a lot of blogs written by birth mothers. I especially enjoy reading Jenna's blog on this site. Obviously, as an adoptee I spend a lot of time thinking about adoption issues from the adoptee perspective but I'm trying to learn more about all sides of the triad. I am generally disappointed at the lack of attention given to the birth mother experience when reading about adoption. In my mind, birth mothers are the most fundamental piece of the triad and yet the least discussed when browsing the web or reading adoption related materials. I can't begin to truly understand what birth mothers go through but as an adoptee I feel I can… [more]