Adoptive Parents

I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. My brothers and I were adopted at birth.  At a very young age, my parents lovingly explained that I was adopted and how special they felt being able to raise me. One night, when I was in high school, my mom drove me to church for an overnight retreat.  It was at that time she explained the details of my birth and the birth of my younger brothers.  I remember thinking that memorable night I had something very special to be thankful for. I have never felt abandoned, unwanted, or unloved.  I felt as normal as any of my childhood friends. I never knew my birth mom and I decided early on… [more]

I sometimes feel the way that John Raible described in his recent blog post.

I want so much to share my experiences with adoptive parents in order to help them be better parents to their adopted children. However, it is difficult to share my experiences and open myself up to harsh reactions. It is tiresome to have to justify my right to my opinions. It is tiresome to have to say "yes, I love my parents"… [more]

This weekend I came across an interesting blog post that brought up an important issue. Should adoptive parents tell their children about the cost of their adoption?   And how should parents explain it when it involved a discounted or special rate? As with most adoption related issues there is no right or wrong answer but as an adoptee I have strong feelings about this issue. The heart of this issue is really the cost of adoption and that is a bigger topic than I can address in this blog post. There is plenty of info on this topic all over the web. However, I do want to talk about the practice of a single agency… [more]

I have five brothers - three older, two younger. I really enjoyed being the only girl. The advantages are endless - no hand-me downs, no sharing a bedroom, no one to steal your Barbie dolls  (although I do recall a head or two was ripped off by someone in our house). I am closest in age to John, who is about 2 years younger than me. He is also biracial and was adopted from the same agency where my parents got me. In some ways I think our parents assumed that because we were both transracial adoptees and close in age that we'd be best friends, buddies. We'd have this common bond

I realize I'm a little late to the whole census discussion as it was discussed by Robyn already. And I've read about it on numerous other websites and in the media. The first time I heard the census form had separate categories for biological and adopted children I was surprised but sort of dismissed the issue. I was busy living my life and I pretty much let it roll off my back.

Yesterday was my "special day." That is what my family calls the day that my parents first got me. In recent years I've heard people call it "gotcha day" but like I special day better. It was always marked with a special meal and the re-telling of the first day my parents picked me up at the agency office. My younger brother has a special day too - Nov. 1st. I don't remember the early ones, of course, but as I got older my mom would let us choose what we wanted for dinner that night. We could pick anything we wanted.  I think I would usually pick fried chicken. My brother would usually ask for hamburgers - which I didn’t think… [more]

Over the past month I watched Faces of America on PBS. The show was hosted by Henry Louis Gates and researched the family histories of numerous celebrities such as Stephen Colbert, Yoyo Ma and Louise Erdrich. I found the series so interesting. As a history lover this  show was right up my alley.  It is so amazing to reflect on why people came to this country, the sacrifices they made, the bravery it took to walk into the unknown. I really wonder if most of us today could be this brave. The series included stories of internment camps, draft riots during the civil war and settlers who came to what is now Texas long before it was

Lately I've been thinking a lot about open adoption. I've been reading lots of blogs and am reading a couple of books on the topic. Meghann shares great information about her open adoption in her blog. This site also has a nice list of articles, discussion lists and lists of other resources on open adoption. This is a great place jumping off point into deeper research. There definitely isn't a shortage of information out there. I've been thinking about this a lot because as my husband and I move forward with our adoption journey we are talking with our agency, and with each other, about what level of openness we are comfortable with. It has been an interesting change… [more]

Lately I've been reading a lot of blogs written by birth mothers. I especially enjoy reading Jenna's blog on this site. Obviously, as an adoptee I spend a lot of time thinking about adoption issues from the adoptee perspective but I'm trying to learn more about all sides of the triad. I am generally disappointed at the lack of attention given to the birth mother experience when reading about adoption. In my mind, birth mothers are the most fundamental piece of the triad and yet the least discussed when browsing the web or reading adoption related materials. I can't begin to truly understand what birth mothers go through but as an adoptee I feel I can… [more]

After reading the adoptions.com blogs for the past year or so, I’m honored to now be part of the blogging team. My name is Stephanie and I will be blogging about adoptee topics and issues. When I think about my adoption there are two intertwined issues. First that I am an adoptee, and second that I am a transracial adoptee. While some of my experiences are universal to most adoptees, I have other experiences that are unique to being a mixed race (aa/cc) child growing up with white parents in a geographic area with virtually no racial diversity. How I understand adoptee issues is greatly impacted by these childhood circumstances. I hope that by sharing my story I will entertain, educate and… [more]